


All's Fair

by CaffeineAddict94



Category: Daria (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Death, Drama & Romance, F/M, Minor Character Death, Opposites Attract, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 13:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 42,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16409201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffeineAddict94/pseuds/CaffeineAddict94
Summary: In which Daria and Kevin discover they aren't so different. AU (as usual) and very loosely inspired by To All The Boys I've Loved Before.





	1. Part One

****

**Artwork by[oxydrawing](https://www.instagram.com/oxydrawing/)**

**Part One**  
  
Kevin Thompson knew that he was a lot of things but smart wasn't one of them.   
  
He didn't get books or, well, reading in general. Paragraphs blended together, words didn't make sense, and the whole process just gave him a headache. Math was no better; not even a calculator could lend him a helping hand. He was, to put it plainly, an idiot.   
  
Kevin peered into the disaster that was his locker as he tried to make sense of the mess. He needed his Chemistry notebook or maybe it was History. He had a hard time remembering when there was so much information thrown at him during the day. Which one was it?   
  
_Stupid_. It was a word many people used to describe him, even back before he really knew what it meant. He was stupid, dumb, brain-less, a moron. He would end up pumping gas for a living if he wasn't so damn good at football. He was gifted with a natural athleticism that was only bolstered by his love of sports which was one thing he had going for him. The other two were his good looks and his girlfriend.   
  
_Ex-girlfriend_ , he reminded himself as he picked up his History book and turned it over in his hands. So, make that one thing.   
  
He tried not to think about Brittany or the fact that she was hooking up with the wide receiver for Lawndale State...or so he'd heard. Rumors, who could really keep track of them? Anyway, she was probably only trying to make him jealous. Like always. They broke up, she hooked up with someone, he hooked up with someone, they got mad at each other, they got back together. It was a vicious cycle but neither of them seemed able to break it.   
  
He eventually put the History book back and switched it out for Chemistry. If he made the wrong decision, it wouldn't really matter much anyway. He was too dumb to take notes and the notes he did take were little more than doodles.   
  
"Do you really think that's such a good idea?"  
  
"It's either that or sell a kidney and I'd rather save that for college".   
  
He turned away from his locker in time to see Daria and Jane a few lockers down from his. The two of them were always going back and forth, usually talking crap about everyone and everything. They were the kinds of girls that most people avoided. They didn't try to fit in. If anything, they seemed to like being ignored. Daria was exchanging her books with meticulous care while Jane was dumping art supplies into her bag with reckless abandon. Daria was the one to notice him watching. She looked over at him, dark eyes sharp behind her glasses. For the millionth time, he wondered why he was so fascinated by her.   
  
Daria was smart. Like,  _really_  smart. She read books who's titles left his head spinning. She was also pretty good at cutting people down, one of those people being him. They weren't even in the same universe and yet, whenever he saw her, he wondered what her life was like.   
  
Daria stared at him for a moment longer before she turned back to Jane. The spell effectively broken, he shoved his notebook into his backpack and told himself to cut it out. It didn't matter what her life was like because they would never be friends. He was who he was and she was who she was; the two paths couldn't intersect. That vaguely reminded him of something from math class but it was gone before he could really remember it. He slammed his locker shut and made his way towards remedial Algebra.   
  
It was another Monday. 

* * *

Daria Morgendorffer thought that her junior year couldn't have started off any worse. No matter how much she tried to keep her life as simple and drama-free as possible, it never worked in her favor.   
  
"I didn't mind you staying over, really".   
  
"But?"  
  
"I wanted to spend some time with Tom and you kind of cut into that".   
  
Daria tried to ignore the death grip she was holding her keys in as she unlocked the door to her car. Jane hopped into the passenger's seat, red lips pursed in annoyance. It was funny that  _she_  was the one pissed off when she had no real reason to be. Daria had no idea that her dad was going to burn down the kitchen or that she'd be forced to share a hotel room with her sister for the first time in years. She thought that her best friend would be able to provide her with a little solace. She was wrong.   
  
"Don't let me stand in the way of your relationship".   
  
She was sick of being used as the scapegoat, as if her very presence was the cause of all of Jane and Tom's relationship problems. She had nothing to do with whatever was going on between them.   
  
"I'm not blaming you".  
  
"Could've fooled me".   
  
Jane readjusted her seat, as if she was trying to get as far away from her as the car would allow, "All I'm saying is that-"  
  
The grating sound of metal against metal was enough to make her slam on the brakes, jolting the car to a halt. Momentary panic seized her chest and it took a few minutes of careful breathing before she was able to loosen her hold on the steering wheel. It wouldn't be a great day unless something terribly, horribly wrong happened.   
  
She shot Jane a dark look before she could even begin to open her mouth and the taller girl quickly mimed zipping her lips shut. Daria, reluctantly, climbed out of the car and went to see what the damage was. The back of the Lexus was awfully dented thanks to the fact that she'd backed right into the passenger's side door of someone's red Jeep. Not just anyone, she noted, as Kevin hopped out from behind the wheel.   
  
He looked positively furious, as he had every right to be, and she mentally prepared herself for the ensuing onslaught. He stopped to examine the door, placing a hand over the glossy finish as if he could physically feel the car's pain.   
  
"What the fuck?!"  
  
"Um, I can explain".   
  
No, she really couldn't. She was distracted, which wasn't really a good excuse. Add that on top of the fact that she was already a mediocre driver at best and that was a recipe for disaster. She should've been paying more attention but how could she when all she could think about was the week she spent at Jane's and how badly it ended? She couldn't stop looking at the damage she'd caused, as if she could make it disappear by sheer force of will.   
  
"You know, you have to look before you back up. That's why they make mirrors".   
  
She wasn't expecting such an acid-laced comment from him. Kevin was usually the type of guy that was always happy-go-lucky. Right now, he looked five seconds away from exploding. She deserved it, of course she did, but getting reprimanded by the King of the Jocks was adding insult to injury.   
  
"Yes, I'm aware".   
  
"Then why didn't you look before you backed up? I was right there".   
  
Was he trying to make her feel even worse? She messed up, which was all she seemed capable of doing lately, even when she was trying her hardest not to. She talked to her best friend's boyfriend too much, she hit cars. Maybe murder would be next on the list.   
  
"It was an accident; I'm sorry".  
  
"I just got this detailed", he muttered, more to himself than to her, "This blows".   
  
"I can pay for it. It was my fault".   
  
She was saving up her allowance as part of her Montana cabin fund but it was only fair to pay for what she'd done. At least she'd feel somewhat better about effectively destroying Kevin's baby. Somewhat but not much.   
  
All the anger seemed to disappear at once, leaving him looking deflated, "No, don't worry about it. It's not so bad".   
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure", he paused before getting back in his car, "Are you gonna be alright to drive?"  
  
It was a change from the attitude he'd had a few minutes ago and she could see some of the Kevin she expected in his open expression. She wasn't sure how to answer that question. She wasn't alright in the slightest. If she was alone, she would've been driven by sheer panic as she tried to get a hold of herself enough to put the car in drive. But, seeing as she was in public, she had no choice but to keep up her poker face. The reality was, she was her only way home. She'd have to manage.   
  
"I'm sure I'll be fine".   
  
He nodded once before he got in the car and took off. She waited until he'd turned out of the parking lot before she returned to her own vehicle. Jane was eyeing her expectantly, as if she thought she was going to vent all of her frustrations. Instead, she simply started the car and backed up...after she'd double-checked her mirrors and made sure the parking lot was nearly empty.   
  
It didn't take long for her to make it to the main road but, the entire time she was driving, she couldn't stop the nagging feeling that was eating at her. As much as she'd rather continue the ride in silence, she couldn't let it go.   
  
"Maybe we shouldn't distract each other when we're doing something important".   
  
It was direct in her typical indirect way, to the point but without pointing fingers. Jane, who knew her so well that they were practically sisters, didn't appreciate her comment.   
  
"So, you're blaming me because you can't multitask?"  
  
"It's not that simple".   
  
"I've driven Trent's car loads of times and I never crash into mailboxes because he's talking to me", she rolled her eyes, "I didn't hit Kevin's car; you did".   
  
Just what she needed, more guilt. She was relieved when she pulled into their neighborhood, "Glad to have your support".   
  
"You want my support or you want me to take all the blame? Which one is it?"  
  
"I want you to act like a friend".   
  
She stopped short in front of Casa Lane, narrowly avoiding knocking over their trashcan. Jane wasted no time grabbing her backpack and beating a hasty retreat. She stopped right before she shut the car door, leaning back in to look at her.   
  
"That's what I want from you, too".   
  
The sound of the door closing seemed ten times louder than normal. She took a deep breath before she started the engine again and made her way down the block. The sooner she got home, the better. 

* * *

 _Home sweet home_.   
  
Kevin parked his car in the garage, sparing one final glance at the dent before he made his way inside. The house was a simple one-story, not anywhere near as nice as some of the other houses on the block but it was well-maintained. He kept up with the lawn work as much as he could and his mom did her best to keep the inside neat and tidy. They were trying. He stopped in the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge before he continued on towards the basement.   
  
His parents renovated the basement years ago but, as he got older, it quickly transformed into his workout room. He enjoyed training almost as much as football itself. There was something thrilling about putting in the effort, seeing the results. He wholeheartedly believed that his body was like a machine and it needed constant maintenance to run smoothly. He went to the stereo first and popped in his favorite Nile CD. He wasn't much of a music buff, his knowledge was pretty limited, but death metal just had the edge he was looking for when he worked out. It was loud, fast, and it gave him the energy to blow off steam.   
  
He started with the lighter dumbbells first as a warm up since he barely had to think about it. He could do a dozen reps, easy. He used to think all the pay-off came from using as much weight as possible. It was his father that taught him about endurance. There was the anger, prickling at the edges of his mind. It had been six months since his father passed, six months since the world shit on him, and he wasn't anywhere close to being over it. He dropped the dumbbells before he moved on to the heavier barbells.  
  
It was a brain aneurysm that took him down, completely unexpected. Kevin always thought that his dad would live to be 100, be there to see him graduate and grow up and get married. Instead, he was dead and just two months after his thirty-fourth birthday. Life was shitty that way. Kevin was feeling the muscle burn now but he wasn't done. There was still too much frustration, too many annoying memories that wouldn't go away. He made his way over to the weight machine, the very same one that his dad surprised him with after the team made the state playoffs.   
  
He tried to focus on his breathing as he did his reps and not on the coil of dread building in his chest. His dad thought he was going to make the NFL someday. Someday was a far-off dream. Today, he was failing English class. Grades never mattered much to his dad and, thus, they never mattered much to him. Now that his dad was gone, the reality of his failure was smacking him the face. His biceps and quads were starting to scream at him but he pushed himself. One more rep, two more...  
  
"Kevin!", his mom was standing at the top of the stairs, looking down at him, "I need your help with dinner, get cleaned up. And, for the love of God, turn off that awful music!"  
  
He returned the weights back to the bar rack before he switched off the stereo. He bounded upstairs where he briefly peeked his head into the kitchen. His mom was rushing around like a madwoman, strands of chestnut hair starting to escape from the confines of her ponytail. She used to be put together. These days, she rarely wore make-up. He left her for now and made his way down the hall towards the bathroom. The shower went on full blast and he tried to clear his head while he washed his hair. He didn't like being so keyed up all the time but it was his constant state of being. His life was upended; he didn't feel like cracking jokes anymore.   
  
Clean and as 'normal' as he could be, he returned to the kitchen. He made his way to the counter and started to chop up the tomato that his mom had sitting on the cutting board. From the look of things, tacos were on the menu.   
  
"Didn't even hear you sneak in. How was school?"  
  
He muddled through his classes, like always, and was happy when the day ended. School was torture before, now it was unbearable. He couldn't tell his mom that, she had enough on her plate.   
  
"It was okay".   
  
"I know these past few months have been rough", she continued, as if she could read his mind, "But I'm proud of you. You've really stepped up and I appreciate it".   
  
They only had each other now; he had to do what he could.   
  
"Ma, come on".   
  
"I mean it".   
  
He didn't feel like he deserved any praise but he didn't comment any further. He grabbed the onion next and started chopping that too. At least this kept him preoccupied. 

* * *

"Daria, what happened to the car?"  
  
It had taken approximately five hours and twenty-two minutes for her mom to bring up the accident. She foolishly thought that she was in the clear and she'd even lulled herself into a false sense of security by reading at the dinner table. The book was merely a poor distraction as she continued to agonize over the events of her day. Now, she'd get to do it out loud.   
  
"Last I checked, it was in the driveway".   
  
Her mom was currently in the process of sticking a pan of frozen lasagna in the oven but Daria could practically feel the stern look she was throwing. She couldn't seem to get on anyone's good side today.   
  
"You know exactly what I mean".   
  
She should've known that her mom's eagle eye would spot the dented back fender in a heartbeat. She'd even tried to park in the driveway as neatly as possible to avoid suspicion but her efforts had not paid off. She toyed with the pages of the book as she avoided her mom's intense stare.   
  
"It was an accident".   
  
Even the word 'accident' sounded more severe than what occurred. She backed into someone, not even at full speed, and nobody got seriously injured. Hell, the car was even okay. Sort of. So, Kevin probably hated her guts and Jane was still mad at her. At least nobody could sue her for hospital expenses.   
  
"Where did this happen?"  
  
"It was in the school parking lot and it wasn't anything major. I backed into someone and dented their door".   
  
Her mom shook her head, "You backed into someone? How?"  
  
She didn't want to get into the full details because that would involve discussing aspects of her life that she'd rather keep private. She loved her mom but the last thing she wanted to do was get into a full blown conversation about the argument she'd had that afternoon. Her issues with Jane were embarrassing enough without rehashing them. No, the less she knew, the better.   
  
"...I couldn't see".   
  
"You couldn't see?", her mom repeated, the incredulous tone letting her know that she didn't buy it for a second, "Daria, you're always so careful".   
  
Yes, she was, but not today. Today, she'd decided to hell with safe driving, why not throw caution to the wind and see where the road took her? She bit her tongue, knowing that a comment like that would make matters much worse.   
  
"It was a mistake. That's all".   
  
"What was a mistake?"  
  
Quinn chose that moment to waltz into the kitchen, for once not glued to the phone until 10:00 PM. She looked between the two of them expectantly, clearly wanting in on the conversation. Daria was fully prepared to shoot a sarcastic comment her way when her mom thwarted her efforts.   
  
"Your sister got into a little accident at school today".   
  
"A car accident?"  
  
She rolled her eyes, "No, a boating accident".   
  
"Well, duh", Quinn nodded knowingly, as if she was waiting for something like this to happen, "Why do you think I don't ride with her?"  
  
She normally wouldn't let a comment like that bother her but she was sick of being everyone's punching bag today.   
  
"It couldn't be because you don't want to be seen with me".   
  
"Yeah but...", she quickly trailed off once she caught the look their mom was shooting her, "Anyway, since Daria ruined the car, does that mean I can get a new one when I start driving?"  
  
Daria often wondered how she and Quinn were even related. She had little in common with her red-haired younger sister and, at times like these, she was convinced she'd been adopted.   
  
"We'll see, Quinn", their mom said with a resigned sigh, "Daria, I fully expect you to-"  
  
She was saved by the ringing of her mom's cellphone. She waited until she was sufficiently tied up in a legal discussion with her boss before she grabbed her book and beat a hasty retreat. Once she was safely secure in her room, she dropped onto her bed and wondered if she could smother herself if she tried hard enough.   
  
She still had a whole week to suffer through.


	2. Part Two

**Part Two**

Brittany always broke up with him first, never vice versa. 

Most of the time, it was for the same reasons: he'd forgotten their anniversary, he'd missed her phone calls, he'd looked at some girl for too long. In short, he was his usual oblivious self. This time, however, it was because she couldn't 'deal with him' anymore. 

Grief wasn't something he expected to completely take over but, slowly, it bled into every aspect of his life. He didn't get enjoyment out of most things anymore, which meant that dates with Brittany started to become tiring. He didn't blame her for backing out but that didn't make it sting any less. 

He was walking through the halls in-between classes when he caught sight of her. She was chatting with Lisa and Angie, the only two people she trusted enough not to back-stab her...at least this week. He'd lost track of how many times she'd disowned someone for something she'd made up in her head. The three of them were in the midst of a heated discussion judging by the serious looks on their faces. He couldn't even begin to imagine what she was telling them but it wouldn't surprise him if it was about how he'd screwed up this time. Against his better judgment, he started making his way towards her. He wanted to have a real talk but it was nearly impossible when she was blocking him at every turn. He knew that he wasn't the best boyfriend ever but they had years of history between them. He couldn't believe she'd toss that all away when he needed her the most. 

He barely walked a few feet before she spotted him. She glared at him, blue eyes narrowed into thin slits, before she whispered something to her friends. Of course, that meant they too had to turn and look at him like he was encroaching on some secret meeting. He opened his mouth to speak but all three of them were gone before he could utter a word. He felt a familiar ache in his chest but he wasn't going to let it win today. If she wanted to play this game, he could too. 

* * *

"Come on, it'll be fun!" 

Daria picked over her French fries as she thought about the absurdity of the conversation at hand. Just when she thought things couldn't get any weirder, Jane was springing this on her. 

"I don't know if you've noticed but I don't do hair". 

She took another glance at the sketch Jane had done of what was going to be her new look. The highlights were right up her alley but Daria failed to see why Jane wanted her to be a part of the process. With the way things were going between them, it would be disastrous. 

"Come on, amiga. This is the kind of activity that teen girls do to cement their friendship. Don't you want to cement our friendship?"

Jane acted like she was joking but there was a hard edge to her tone that Daria didn't miss. This wasn't as simple as buying a box of hair dye and palling around watching TV. She was having a hard time associating all the paranoid accusations with the same girl that traded jokes with her in class. 

"I'd probably do better with actual cement". 

"Methinks thou doth protesteth too much".

"What?"

"Come on, why don't you want to help me, really?"

The answer was obvious. The last few weeks had been tense at best and she didn't want to give Jane any more reason to blow-up on her. She used to love getting involved in whatever crazy scheme Jane concocted, no matter how ridiculous it seemed, but she wasn't in the mood this time around. No matter how much she tried to ignore it...things weren't the same between them. The last thing she wanted to do was inhale a bunch of chemical fumes all for the sake of proving her loyalty. It was stupid, childish and, ultimately, a waste of time. 

"I already told you; I'm afraid I'll screw it up". 

"H'okay...you're worried about making me look bad".

She hated that they couldn't seem to have one chat without it devolving into passive aggressive bullshit. She pushed aside her tray of food, already having lost her appetite ten minutes ago. If she'd have known that one dumb guy entering the picture could drive a wedge between them, she would've prepared herself better. 

"What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing's the matter with me". 

"You've been picking fights with me over nothing". 

Jane focused on mixing her mashed potatoes into unidentifiable mush, "I think you were the one that fought with me yesterday". 

"Are you still mad about that? I said I was sorry". 

The first thing she did was apologize that morning, desperate to restore some normalcy. She didn't want another day of walking on eggshells but one apology clearly wasn't enough to balance things out. She wasn't sure what more Jane wanted from her or what more she could possibly give. She was driving herself crazy trying to think of something,  _anything_ , to make her stop looking at her like she was a snake waiting to strike. 

"Hm, right". 

"Okay, what's your problem?"

"Fine", she pushed her own tray aside with enough force that Daria was surprised it didn't fall to the floor, "I think it's a little weird that you're so against helping me look cooler than I already do. Like, I don't know, maybe you're a little jealous of me and Tom..."

"Are you serious?!"

"Just a teensy little bit. I mean, I'm sure if I was in your position..."

"What position? What are you talking about? How can you accuse me of being jealous of you and Tom?"

Daria wasn't expecting her to pull that card. There was a slight possibility that she was jealous but it wasn't like she had much of a choice. How else was she supposed to feel when her best friend abandoned her? She was on her own more often than not and, even when they were together, everything felt strained. So, yes, she was jealous of being the odd man out but she'd be damned if she gave Jane the satisfaction of being right. 

"I just mean the way you're always..."accidentally" barging in on us and just "happening" to find yourself alone with him. I know you don't mean anything by it, so don't worry about it". 

"Don't worry about it?! You accuse me of having some kind of designs on your boyfriend and you tell me don't worry about it?"

She didn't expect herself to get so riled up but, here she was, practically yelling across the table. A few other people turned to look in their direction, curious as to what the commotion was. She couldn't care less what they thought about her, especially at a time like this. Jane, on the other hand, looked a lot more uncomfortable. 

"Maybe we'd better talk about this later". 

"There's nothing to talk about. You're delusional". 

"Well, in that case, I can just talk to myself about it". 

She needed to put some distance between them before things could take an even worse turn. She quickly stood to grab her bag and her tray, dumping her uneaten food into the trash before she headed for the library. She didn't bother saying goodbye. 

* * *

Lunch was Kevin's one reprieve throughout the otherwise headache-inducing day. 

During class, he was painfully aware of how much slower he was than everyone else. He couldn't keep up with discussions and the notes might as well have been written in Chinese. Some teachers tried to spare him, others seemed to revel in his idiocy. He was a shining example of the failure of their educational system so why not exploit it?  _See? The poor sap can barely spell his name right? What a shame!_

He shook the thoughts away as he grabbed his lunch tray and made his way towards his usual table. In the cafeteria, everything was different. He was the Big Man on Campus, the star quarterback, and with that came the kind of praise and idolization people normally reserved for A-list celebrities. He couldn't walk through the room without hearing a 'Yo, Kev!' and, he had to admit, it was a nice change of pace. 

He sat down in the one empty space at the otherwise chaotic table and tried to get comfortable. Half of the Lawndale Lions shared the same lunch period which meant endless amounts of dumb jokes and food stealing. Kevin treated all of his teammates like brothers but no one more than Mack Mackenzie. 

Mack was his best friend, hands down. They'd known each other since they were in diapers and they'd been neighbors since before they were born. Mack was a million times smarter than him but they clicked on plenty of other things. They both liked cheesy cop action movies, they both hated ketchup on their burgers, and - of course - they both loved football. Even when Kevin couldn't keep up with what Mack was talking about, he never took it personally. At the moment, Mack was scowling at his tray of meatloaf. 

"What's up, Mack Daddy?"

It was a stupid nickname and Mack hated it but, for some reason, it stuck. Everyone on the team had a nickname; they couldn't all be winners.

"Don't call me that", he muttered with little energy, "Jodie rescheduled our date for tomorrow. Again". 

Mack and Jodie had been together almost as long as him and Brittany and they had just as many problems. They never cheated on each other but they spent so little time together that they could without the other one even noticing. However, unlike him and Brittany, Mack and Jodie resolved their issues by talking them out. 

"What happened?"

"She's got volunteer work to do for IMPACT club. 'Maybe we can get together on Thursday'". 

"Bummer, dude". 

Mack shrugged, "It happens. How've you been?"

He was functioning, which was an improvement, but he wasn't great. It was easier to hide at school, when he was surrounded by other people, but it was a different story when he was alone. 

"Okay. Britt still won't talk to me". 

Talking about relationship problems was easier than talking about his dead dad. Nobody wanted to hear about how tough it was to sleep at night but an ex that was giving you the cold shoulder? That was easy to relate to. 

"Maybe you should take that as a hint". 

Oh, he'd thought about it. Plenty of times. He could walk away and let Brittany continue her antics on her own...but they'd been together since eighth grade. It would feel too much like giving up and he wasn't a quitter. 

"I know Britt. She's trying to get me worked up about this guy she's seeing. She knows the longer she stays with him, the more pissed off I'll get". 

"And you're falling for it?", Mack asked as he inspected a portion of his food. 

"I'm not falling for it. She's only with this college guy to prove a point. She wants me to get all aggro and threaten to kick his ass but I'm not gonna do that", he took a bite out of his pizza, "I'm gonna make her jealous".

"That sounds healthy". 

"All I've gotta do is date someone that she thinks she can't compete with. Then, she'll be begging me to take her back. It happens all the time". 

Mack rolled his eyes, "And who would this lucky lady be?"

"Dunno. Has to be someone she won't suspect". 

They'd done this song and dance before and it always ended the same way. They'd be back together within a week if he played his cards right. Mack had a good point, it wasn't healthy, but what else could he really do? As much as they fought, being alone was so much worse. 

* * *

The end of the day couldn't have come soon enough. 

Daria was ready to go home and drown her sorrows in some mind-numbing videogames but she had a car ride to get through first. The thought of leaving Jane behind crossed her mind on more than one occasion throughout the day but it wasn't like she would ever follow through. She waited at Jane's locker for a full ten minutes before she opted to go outside. She'd parked as far away from most other people as she could manage which left her back towards the bleachers. She watched everyone milling around and wondered how many of them were having as bad a day as she was. 

Enough time passed for her to wonder if Jane had decided to walk home before she saw her. After lunch, they'd spent the rest of the day tip-toeing around each other. She couldn't get Jane's comments out of her head and they only succeeded in making her more self-conscious. Maybe she should've seen some sort of sign. 

"Yo". 

"Hey". 

Jane scuffed her boot against the pavement, avoiding direct eye contact with her, "About earlier..."

"I don't want to talk about that". 

"Well, we're talking about it. To be honest, I've been feeling kind of overwhelmed lately, and I guess the hair thing was my attempt at a distraction. It was a dumb idea". 

Jane was the one making mountains out of mole hills, mountains that she then had to leap over. She was the one agonizing over every word that came out of her mouth, fearing that Jane would latch on and use it to fuel another one of her tirades. Not to mention, she had to be hyper-aware of every move she made when they were together lest Jane suspect she was trying to get her filthy paws on Tom. If Jane was overwhelmed then what did that make her?

"What have you been so overwhelmed about?", is what came out of her mouth instead. 

"What do you think?"

She tried to see the situation from Jane's point of view, her own feelings aside, and part of her could maybe see what Jane was so worried about. As she stood there, tossing her keys in her hand, something Trent said came back to haunt her.  _Guys can always tell when other guys are into someone_. No matter how absurd she thought Trent was at first, the longer she thought about it, the more it made sense. 

"Me try to steal Tom away from you? Why would I ever do that?"

"Okay, maybe not trying to steal him or anything. But what's going on with you two?"

There was the question she'd been dreading since all of this started. Nothing was 'going on' between them in the literal sense. They hadn't been driven by such passion that they ripped each other's clothes off and declared their undying love for each other...but there were those pesky feelings. She enjoyed talking to him but there was more to it than that. She thought that Tom was sweet and funny and, yeah okay, maybe a little cute. When things were so tense with Jane, it was a relief to talk to someone that wasn't going to chew her head off at any given moment. That wasn't all there was but she clung to that thought, casting aside all the others that were too ugly to bring to light. 

"Oh my god", Jane laughed in disbelief, "I'm right, aren't I?"

Most people wouldn't have noticed anything off but Jane could read her emotions, no matter how blank her expression was. She hadn't said anything at all...but she might as well have. 

"I don't know what you're talking about. Nothing's going on between us". 

"You never lie to me, Daria", Jane crossed her arms, "Don't start now". 

"...I don't hate him so much anymore, but that's not exactly an affair to remember". 

It was Jane that wanted her to give him a chance in the first place. Things were a lot easier when she couldn't stand to be around him. She had no way of knowing that befriending him was going to turn into all this.  _Nobody's saying you meant for it to happen. But there's no use playing dumb, right?_ Stupid Trent and his stupid insight. 

"Listen, I should go", Jane jerked her thumb towards the sidewalk, "I think I need some time to myself". 

"Jane, wait! It's not-" 

She waved off her comment and then she was walking away. Daria angrily kicked a rock towards the street but it did little to alleviate the pressure.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it!", she shouted, glad that nobody was around to hear her freak out. She climbed into the car and slammed the door shut behind her, so angry that her hands were shaking as she tried to put on her seatbelt. She didn't think it was possible but today was ten times worse than yesterday. 

She was too preoccupied by her own thoughts to notice the red Jeep idling two spots away from her.


	3. Part Three

**Part Three**

Daria called Jane four times and all four calls were ignored. She had no choice but to take the journey to school alone. 

She'd barely slept as anxious thoughts kept her tossing and turning all through the night. Everything was royally screwed up and she couldn't help but feel responsible. She got ready early, for once managing to beat Quinn to the bathroom. Her breakfast consisted of two blueberry toaster pastries that she spent ten minutes breaking apart before she decided to leave the house. The drive to school was unimpeded by any traffic seeing as though most sane people wouldn't even think of dragging themselves out at this time of morning. Daria was glad for no distractions; there was a lot on her mind. 

Jane was her best friend, her only friend if she was being honest, and she'd crossed a line that should never be crossed. Real friends didn't daydream about their friend's boyfriends. Jane was the one person in her life that understood her, 100%. And how did she repay her? By betraying her trust and lying to her face. If she was like Quinn, she would've written her dilemma into one of those 'Dear Abby' columns and hoped someone with better social skills could lend her a helping hand. Unfortunately, she was on her own with this one. 

She made it to school in record time where she sat for a few minutes in total silence. The chirping of the birds and rustling of leaves wasn't as calming today as it normally was. Sighing, she got out of the car and made her way towards the track. Walking allowed her to focus on something other than the mess that was her life. As long as she focused on putting one foot in front of the other, she could start to relax. She was on her third lap when a distinctly male voice shouted out to her. 

"Hey!"

The voice carried over from the football field and she had to squint towards the goalposts to make out a vaguely humanoid shape. As the person got closer, she recognized the bright blue Lawndale Lions shirt and the neatly combed black hair. Her morning wouldn't be complete without a greeting from the village idiot. 

"Kevin? What are you doing here?"

He was clearly up to something judging by the weird look in his blue eyes but, whatever it was, he was keeping it to himself, "What are  _you_  doing here?"

"Having an existential crisis". 

It wasn't a joke but Kevin wouldn't get it either way. It was too early for her to worry about slipping on the mask just yet; she still had a few good minutes left for brooding and she wasn't about to give those up. 

"Why?"

Okay, she stood corrected. Kevin looked genuinely interested in the reason behind her mood which was nothing short of unnerving. The last person she wanted to vent to was him. She opted to give him a taste of his own medicine, avoiding the question with another question. 

"Should you really be conversing with a commoner?"

She understood how the high school hierarchy worked, even if she thought it was pretty dumb. Kevin was popular which, by default, meant he was only allowed to fraternize with other popular people. She was a 'brain' and that meant she shouldn't even be on his radar. Talking out in the open for anyone to see was surely violating some sort of rule. 

"Nobody's out here, Daria", he gestured to the open space around them, "Anyway, I uh...can I ask you a favor?"

"Is this about the car?"

It was the only reason she could think of for Kevin to want to track her down. She'd already offered to pay and she was still willing to shell out the cash for Kevin to fix the damage. At least that was one issue in her life that could be resolved in an instant. 

"No, that's still all cool". 

Now, she was really thrown. Her limited knowledge about Kevin didn't give her much to pull from. She recalled past projects they'd worked on and his general attitude towards schoolwork, her brain starting to piece another explanation together. 

"No, I'm not going to do your homework for you". 

"I wasn't gonna ask you that either", he seemed to be struggling with whatever it was that he needed to say, "It's, uh, a little more..."

"What?"

She wasn't in a good mood to begin with so her patience was wearing thin. He'd encroached on her personal time so whatever he had to say had better be worth her while. The nervous way he was tugging on his sleeves only irritated her further. 

"Spit it out". 

"I need you to go out with me". 

She understood all the words but, in that particular order, they sounded like gibberish. She blinked back at him, unable to process what was happening. There was no way he'd just asked her what she thought he had. 

"What?", she repeated, sure that she'd misheard him. 

"Go. Out. With. Me", he stressed each word this time, for added emphasis, "You know, like dating". 

It felt like time crawled to a stop. The first thought that popped into her head was that Kevin was trying to make fun of her. She'd dealt with this before, guys asking her out on dates for a cheap laugh from their friends. It was so hilarious to trick the weird girl into thinking anyone would actually like her. Too bad she never fell for it. 

"Is this some kind of joke?"

"Not really". 

"So, it is a joke", why couldn't she catch a break?, "Now that you've wasted both of our time-"

"Wait, wait, wait", he stepped in front of her, his size and height making it easy for him to block her escape, "It's not a joke; it's a plan". 

Clearly, he'd suffered some sort of major head trauma if he thought she'd ever agree to a plan that he came up with. But, she had to admit that she was curious. 

"A plan for what?"

"I need to get Brittany back but she's ignoring me and I need to get her attention so I have to do something she doesn't expect-"

"Like dating me", she continued, "Answer me this, Kevin, why in the world would I ever agree to be a pawn in your plan to win back your ex-girlfriend?"

She'd seen enough of Brittany and Kevin's break-ups-make-ups-break-up-again to know that anyone caught in the crossfire would be decimated. She also didn't care enough about him to want to help him in his quest. If he was expecting some sort of sympathy, he was talking to the wrong girl. She had enough on her plate. 

"Because you need Jane to think you don't like her boyfriend". 

"...What did you just say?"

She had no idea how Kevin, of all people, could've known about what was going on between her and Jane. Had he overheard at lunch? It didn't seem likely; the cafeteria was noisy and his table was pretty far away from theirs, but she didn't have any other explanation. She could feel her ears burning as she glared at him, all of her frustrations starting to boil over. 

"You two were arguing", he kept going, oblivious to the fire in her eyes, "And you can't have her knowing that you like him, right? So, you date someone else". 

"Have you been spying on me?"

It was too weird for her to even consider it but she wasn't sure what to believe anymore. Either she'd somehow ended up in The Twilight Zone or some unknown entity was playing a sick joke on her. 

He paused, "No. I, uh, just overheard-"

"Goodbye, Kevin". 

She left before he could even attempt to explain himself. Whatever he was going to say, she didn't want to hear it. No matter how much she tried to escape the insanity, it kept following her like a dark cloud. She walked into school feeling ten times worse than she did before.   


* * *

"You can't avoid me forever". 

By some stroke of luck, Kevin managed to catch Brittany during gym class. Boys and Girls were separated by nothing more than a cheap dividing wall which meant that, when someone inevitably punted the volleyball too hard, it ended up bouncing to the other side. It was his turn to go retrieve it and, when he stooped to grab it, he found himself looking at Brittany's sneakers. He thought she'd run away as soon as he stood back up but she was still there, eyeing him like he'd dropped in from the sky. 

"What do you want, Kevvy?"

At least she didn't sound as angry as she did the night she broke up with him. She'd had enough time to cool down but that didn't mean she was done steering clear of him. Brittany knew just how to keep him strung along, like she had him on an invisible leash. It was embarrassing but he was in too deep to fix it. 

"Come on, Britt. How long are you gonna do this?"

"Do what?", she twirled a strand of hair around her pinky finger, clearly trying to irritate him, "I'm not doing anything". 

"You're just gonna ignore me forever?"

She sighed, "Look, Kevin, you clearly need to time to figure yourself out and I get that so I'm giving you space". 

"I didn't ask for space", he was vaguely aware that he was holding the ball in a choke-hold, "I know I haven't been fun lately. I'm working on it". 

He knew that he wasn't the same anymore. He was used to being goofy and never letting much get under his skin but now everything bothered him and he never felt like laughing. Most people couldn't tell the difference but Britt was one of the few that really knew him. All he was asking for was a little help. 

"Kevvy...", she turned away from him as a frown tugged on the corners of her mouth, "I don't think we should talk right now". 

"When would be a good time for you, Britt? When you're done screwing your new boyfriend?"

He promised himself that he wouldn't get heated but he always did when it came to this. Brittany was attractive so guys were always ogling her; that was nothing he couldn't handle. What sucked was how easy it was for her to jump into someone else's bed without giving him a second thought. 

"Don't you dare!", she jabbed her finger at him, easily forcing him back towards his side of the gym, "You have the nerve to try and make  _me_  feel bad? I know what you did with Nikki so don't make this about me!"

Of course she would bring up something that happened last year. He wasn't excusing his behavior but that was all before his life took a turn for the worst. Fooling around with Nikki wasn't his smartest move but he thought that was old news. 

"Is that what this is? You're trying to punish me? Nikki and I don't even like each other!"

"You should've thought about that before you did what you did! And, by the way, Jacob and I are doing great!"

"Oh, is that his name?" 

The shrill sound of a whistle cut through their argument. Ms. Morris was standing on the opposite side of the gym, all of her beady eyed fury directed at them. By now, they'd drawn a sizable audience though neither of them noticed until that moment. 

"THOMPSON!", Morris yelled at him, "Get back to your court. NOW!"

He could've pressed the issue further, even if he got booted from class it wasn't like Ms. Li would give him detention, but he backed off. He sulked his way back to his teammates, who were all looking at him like he'd sprouted an extra head. 

"Women can be fickle creatures", Upchuck said to him before he took the ball, "Why, I can recall-"

"Shut up, Upchuck". 

The rest of the class period was spent mulling over what he could possibly do now.   


* * *

The day crawled by at a snail's pace thanks to the fact that she had no one to talk to. 

Daria knew that Jane helped pass the time but she never realized how much. She had to suffer through O'Neill's whiny droning and DeMartino's rage-induced meltdowns without anyone to laugh with about the absurdity of it all. She retreated to the library again for lunch, hiding her shame behind the heaviest book she could find. She was relieved when the final bell rang and she was free to go home. She hastily traded books at her locker, so ready to get the hell out of school that she didn't notice footsteps until someone was standing right next to her. She'd recognize the red blazer anywhere. 

"...Hey". 

"Hey", Jane leaned against the locker next to hers while she pretended to be inspecting a broken pencil, "...I know you wanted to sleepover this weekend". 

"Um, yeah". 

The chances of that happening now were slim to none. They couldn't even speak to each other; there was no way they could share a pepperoni pizza and sleep in the same room. She tossed the pencil into the depths of her bag before she leafed through her binder. All her homework was done so that meant nothing to occupy her time. Great. 

"I hate to cut out on you but Tom surprised me with tickets to see the new Goya exhibit downtown."

There was no way of knowing whether that actually happened or Jane was just making up an excuse so she didn't have to see her. Of course, if Tom really  _was_  going to be around then no wonder she didn't want her in the way. The less chance they had of getting into a lengthy discussion about Spanish painters, the better. Daria slowly shut her locker door, hating that she was so disappointed. 

"That's nice". 

She didn't want to say anything else. Enough damage had already been done; it was best to leave it. 

"...Guess I'll see you later". 

"Yeah. Bye". 

It looked like she'd be spending another weekend on her own.

 


	4. Part Four

**Part Four**  
  
 _'Doug Thompson, 18, captain and quarterback of the Lawndale Lions, made history today as he secured the team's first championship title'_  
  
It was an old newspaper article, faded from time, which Kevin now kept tacked to his bedroom wall. In the photo, which had his dad sporting his football jersey, he looked happy. All Kevin could remember was a man beaten down by time and years of hard labor. People were always telling him that his dad could've made pro. He'd seen the old football tapes himself; his dad definitely had talent. But his life didn't pan out the way everyone thought it would. He never graduated from high school because of how awful his grades were and, a few months later, he found out that he was becoming a father. Everything ended, just like that.   
  
Kevin would often read that article and wonder what would've happened if his dad succeeded. What if he went off to college and actually made the NFL? Where would the family be right now? Where would he be? It was the same vicious cycle that his dad got stuck in when he was alive. He'd sit at home, knocking back beers, ranting and raving about a time long past. As much as Kevin respected his father, he didn't want to become him.   
  
He looked about his room, at all the football trophies and awards letters he'd won throughout the years. MVP, Most Dedicated, Star Quarterback, Most Improved. The list went on and on and on. If he dug through his closet, he'd find just as many failed report cards. His dad didn't care about grades so neither did he. Here he was today with a 1.0 GPA, a year from graduation. Just like good 'ol dad.   
  
He wanted to try to pull up his grades but he was scared to find out how far he'd fallen behind. It was easier to sit back and let the work pile up than try to make sense of it all. He wasn't the smart kid growing up. He was the kid that goofed off in class, the kid that had all the friends but never got an A. He was the one that played sports and dated the hottest girls in school. He'd be the one sitting in his car while everyone else got handed their diplomas, nothing more than a forgotten loser.   
  
That thought was enough to make him roll out of bed and grab his car keys. His mom was asleep on the couch while the TV played one of those soap operas that gave him a headache. He switched off the TV and spared her one final glance before he walked out the front door.   
  
It was late-September but it was already chilly enough that his sweatshirt had become a regular staple of his wardrobe. He adjusted the sleeves as he made his way to his car, ready to hit the road. He briefly let a hand linger on the dented door before he got behind the wheel. Seeing it reminded him of Daria, who he was sure wanted to gut him. He really should've known that plan would never work.   
  
He started down the block with no real destination in mind, simply looking to clear his head. After his dad died, he'd started taking drives like this often. The morning he saw Daria, he'd been doing the same thing. He liked to go to the field to sit and think about life. Sometimes, he'd talk to his dad. When things got too stressful and he had nobody else to turn to, it was all he had. Predictably, that's where he ended up tonight.   
  
The field was illuminated by lights but it only made the space seem smaller somehow, more empty. He jogged his way over to the left goalpost, the one that had been commemorated for his father, and sat down. He could've done this at his grave but this felt less constricting. This was where his dad was the most alive.   
  
"Well, Dad, I really screwed things up again". 

* * *

Saturday was always Daria's day to do absolutely nothing. She'd veg out, do some writing, and try to avoid her family as much as possible. After the week she'd had, she was looking forward to it.   
  
She thumbed through her worn copy of  _Misery_ , not particularly interested in re-reading it but needing something to do. It was 9:00 PM which meant that her parents were still off gallivanting with their Couples Therapy group and Quinn had the living room commandeered for the Fashion Club sleepover. She was told explicitly to stay out of the way but she was in the mood to cause her sister grief. Anything beat lying there, staring at the ceiling. She dropped the book on her bed before she left the room and padded her way downstairs.   
  
The TV was playing some runway show that featured waif-like models in clothes that looked better suited to be designs for NASA. Quinn was seated closest to the TV, completely oblivious to her presence as she munched on carrot sticks. Tiffany and Stacy were heaped on the couch, both of their faces covered in some toxic-looking green face mask. Sandi had taken over the arm chair, boredom written all over her pale face. It was Sandi who noticed her first and, judging by the scowl she shot her, she wasn't very excited to see her.   
  
"Gearing up for your eventual return to Mars?", she asked, catching everyone's attention, "I wonder if those come in hot pink".   
  
"Daria, what are you doing?", Quinn glared, "You know that you're supposed to be taking care of that really super important thing. Upstairs".   
  
"Quinn, is your cousin or whatever going to be a problem?", Sandi shot her a look.   
  
"No, Sandi, of course not! She was just leaving".   
  
"Am I going back upstairs or leaving? Your instructions aren't very clear".   
  
She didn't wait for a response as she continued to the kitchen. She looked into the cluttered mess that was the fridge, wrinkling her nose at questionable looking Tupperware containers and expired condiments. Towards the bottom of the fridge was a likely stale but still edible piece of chocolate cake that was leftover from her Dad's birthday. It wasn't gourmet but it would stave off hunger pangs. She opted to eat straight from the box as she went to grab herself a fork.   
  
"Do you have to ruin everything?"  
  
Quinn was leaning against the counter, watching her in annoyance. She shrugged her shoulders as she dug into the cake, deftly licking frosting from the edge of the fork.   
  
"Ugh! Cake for dinner?"  
  
"Shouldn't you be running damage control right about now?"  
  
As fun as it was to see Quinn riled up, she didn't want to discuss her eating habits. She'd rather listen while the Fashion Club bickered among themselves so she could have some entertainment for the night.   
  
"Okay, I wasn't going to say anything but you've left me no choice".   
  
"What are you-"  
  
"Don't you think it's a little embarrassing that you're here, bothering me and my friends, instead of going out?"  
  
Quinn's question struck a nerve thanks to all she'd been dealing with. Her status as social leper never bothered her before but she was forced to realize just how lonely she really was without Jane around.   
  
"Not really", she lied.   
  
"I mean, you're turning seventeen next month, and you're sitting at home on a Saturday night doing nothing", she huffed, "Why don't you call Jane or something?"  
  
It was hearing Jane's name that soured her mood even further. Couldn't she have one night that didn't revolve around the current state of their friendship? Even sequestered at home, she couldn't escape.   
  
"Jane's busy".  _Busy avoiding me._    
  
"See? Even Jane's doing something. You need to branch out, make new friends".   
  
"Thanks for the unwanted advice", she rolled her eyes as she dumped the empty cake box in the trash, "I'll be sure to do that when Hell freezes over".   
  
Quinn looked like she wanted to add another comment but decided against it, "You wanna waste your life on your own then be my guest. Just don't bug me".   
  
She watched as Quinn headed back into the living room, leaving her to ruminate over what she'd just said. She normally didn't let Quinn get to her...but she did have an annoying knack for being right. She made her way back upstairs, determined to spend her last few precious hours in peace.   
  
Instead of being a comfort to her, her room just felt small and isolating. She grumbled to herself as she switched on the TV and started flipping through the channels. Jane was out on a date and she was trying to choose between reruns of  _Sick, Sad World_  and a documentary on great white sharks. She angrily switched the TV back off and tossed her remote towards the end of her bed to take its place in exile next to the book. At this point, she'd even take a Mystik Spiral show over agonizing about how much life sucked. It was then that a light-bulb went off.   
  
She rolled out of bed and made her way over to her computer desk where she started rifling through the drawers. Most people would've tossed everything from their freshman year already but she had a habit of holding onto old assignments. After ten minutes of digging through wrinkled papers and dusty notebooks, she finally stumbled upon last year's planner. She started flipping through it and it took her three tries before she located the number she needed. As she dialed the numbers and listened to the phone ring, she tried to convince herself that this was a waste of time.   
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Kevin?"  
  
There was a moment's hesitation before she heard a door close, "Daria? You have my number?"  
  
"From that science project we had. It was a long time ago-"  
  
"I remember. What's up?"  
  
"About what you said yesterday...", she couldn't believe that she was doing this, "What if I said yes?"  
  
Every fiber of her being was shouting at her to turn back now while she still had a chance but her rational thought was being overrun by crushing alienation. If there was even a slim chance that this could restore her friendship, she was going to take it.   
  
"Then we'd go for it".   
  
"I mean, what's the end goal?"  
  
"I get Britt back and you get Jane off your case. That's really it".   
  
She leaned back against her wall, "What about the logistics?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"How long?"  
  
"Until it works, I guess".   
  
Knowing Kevin and Brittany, they'd be back together in a week. That gave her some reassurance that she wouldn't be doing this forever. Still, she wasn't the kind of person to jump into anything blindly and that went doubly for something this out of her comfort zone.   
  
"...I'll consider it but we're laying down ground rules. Do you think you could meet me early at the school again?"  
  
"Sure, that's fine with me. Guess I'll see you Monday".   
  
"Yeah, see you".   
  
She started to wonder if she'd gone crazy as soon as she hung up the phone but she switched the TV back on and let the background noise crowd out her thoughts. 

* * *

 

Kevin wasn't sure what to expect when he got to school. He didn't mind waking up earlier than usual but it was weird waiting around on the bleachers, like he was involved in some covert mission. He supposed that, in a way, this was sort of like that. The two of them were making a pact...a really insane one but one nonetheless. He was busy shoveling mini powdered donuts into his mouth when Daria decided to make her appearance. She looked the same as she always did, except for the way the corner of her mouth was twitching. It was simply a nervous tick but he was fascinated by it as she sat down next to him. He'd never seen her face as anything but detached. Ever.   
  
"I guess we should get this over with".   
  
He wiped his hands off on the front of his jeans, "Good morning to you too".   
  
She reached into her backpack and pulled out a notebook and a pencil, "Okay, first things first, we need to establish some boundaries. If this is going to work then we need a foundation".   
  
The way she spoke about it made it sound like a business proposal. He wasn't planning on this being so serious but he should've guessed that Daria would want everything etched in stone.   
  
"Like what?"  
  
"No touching, no kissing-"  
  
He couldn't help but laugh, "Are you serious?"  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
"Do you really think anyone's gonna believe we're together if I can't even touch you? I mean, it's me".  
  
He had a reputation as a player, which wasn't really true, but people expected certain things from him. It would be a red flag to the guys if he kept his distance. Daria didn't look too thrilled about it.   
  
"I know", she tapped her pencil against her knee, "...I guess hugging is fine. Hand holding's okay. Maybe an arm around my shoulder  _if_  the situation warrants it".   
  
"Wait a minute-"  
  
"This isn't up for negotiation", she quickly jotted it down, "No kissing. Period".   
  
He wanted to ask her what she had against kissing but he could only imagine the kind of hell she'd rain down on him. He snatched the pencil from her before she could react, knowing that he'd have to get his own requirements in before she vetoed them.   
  
"Fine, my turn. All parties and games are mandatory".   
  
"I don't do parties. Or football".   
  
"Look, if you're my girlfriend, you've gotta be there. Plus, Britt will be there so..."  
  
"Okay, whatever", she took her notebook back from him, "...If I have to suffer through football games then you need to work on your grades".   
  
She might as well have told him that he needed to cut off an arm. The last time he'd studied for a test was probably back in sixth grade and, even then, he likely still failed. Daria had no idea what she was getting herself into.  
  
"Daria, I'm good at the whole 'school' thing".   
  
She cut her eyes over to him, "Guess you'll have to learn".   
  
"You're just trying to get back at me, aren't you?"  
  
"Anything else?"  
  
He knew the one surefire way to make Brittany mad and it was something so simple that most people wouldn't even think of it.   
  
"I drive you to school every day".  
  
"I have a car".   
  
"No offense but it might be better if you let me drive".   
  
He'd seen what could happen when she was behind the wheel. It would be less hassle for the both of them if she agreed to this. She glared at him but, after a moment's hesitation, she added that to the list.   
  
"That all?"  
  
He nodded, "Yeah, guess so".   
  
"Well then", she signed her name at the bottom before gesturing for him to do the same, "I'll have you know that I consider this contract legally binding. Pleasure doing business with you".   
  
His own signature was chicken-scratch compared to hers, "Do we start today?"  
  
She shook her head as she grabbed her bag, "No. I need a few hours of sanity. See you".   
  
Despite how strange the whole situation was, Kevin was excited.


	5. Part Five

**Part Five**

Daria seemed to blink her eyes and it was time for school again. She had already been waiting outside for several minutes by the time Kevin pulled up to the house. 

She'd strategically told him to arrive five minutes after Quinn had already left for school, giving herself a few extra minutes to collect herself. She needed all the time she could get to prepare herself for the day ahead. She was leery of what she'd have to deal with, nothing in her life preparing her for this moment. She wasn't the kind of girl that most guys pined after. Especially guys like Kevin. She wasn't even sure that anybody would buy this shtick. Kevin honked his horn, interrupting her thoughts. She couldn't stand around forever. She climbed into his car, wholly expecting it to be filled with fast food wrappers and football padding. In actuality, it was spotless. Even the dashboard looked like it had been wiped down. 

"Hey", Kevin greeted her, "Ready to go?". 

"As ready as I'll ever be. It's clean in here". 

The only cars she was used to, besides her own, were Trent's and The Tank and neither of those were exactly pristine. They were more like dumpsters on wheels and she always left both feeling like she needed a tetanus shot. 

"My dad bought me this car last year for my birthday", he explained, "I can't just let it get junky, you know? He'd hate that". 

It was a somber note to lead with so early in the morning. Of course she'd heard the news about his father; everyone had. It was a shock to the small community and it felt like everyone was talking about it for days. Ms. Li even dedicated a memorial plaque to the former quarterback, in a similar fashion to what they'd done for Tommy Sherman. She never even thought to ask how he was holding up. She nervously glanced out the window, afraid to look at his face. 

"I'm sorry". 

He shook his head, "It's okay. Not your fault, right?". 

Kevin seemed to be handling things well but she wasn't buying it for a second. It had to be affecting in him in some way, it was his dad after all, but the last thing she was going to do was pry. The two of them weren't close and she already had a reputation for being a misery chick; it was best to leave it alone. Luckily for her, the school came into view before the awkward conversation could continue. They'd arrived late enough that most of the parking spaces were taken and Kevin was forced to the back of the lot. Not that she was complaining. The less chance they had of running into anyone, the better. She reached down to grab her backpack and she was prepared to leave the car when Kevin swooped in and opened the door for her. It was surprising enough that she hesitated before she stepped out of the car. 

"...Thanks". 

She was about to start walking when he held a hand out to her. It took her a second to realize what exactly he was doing. 

"It's clean, I swear", he joked before he wiggled his fingers, "It won't kill you". 

"It might". 

The first thing she noticed was the roughness of his palm. It wasn't exactly unpleasant but it was new and she couldn't figure out whether she hated it or not. She was not a touchy-feely person, even on her best days. Being this close to someone was unnerving. She swallowed down the lump in her throat as the two of them made for the front doors. 

She was used to floating through school like a ghost. Nobody noticed her and she was free to go about her day, unimpeded. Today, was an entirely different story. There were the stares, like deer caught in headlights, as if someone was shining a spotlight on her. She did her best to ignore them even as her stomach started doing somersaults. 

"You alright?"

The way her chest was tightening probably meant she was five seconds from a heart attack but an early grave would save her from this slow torture. Of course, the last thing she wanted to joke about around Kevin was death so she kept that to herself. 

"I'm fine". 

She tried to remind herself that there was nothing to be anxious about. This was all an act, pretend, and she wouldn't have to keep up with this charade for longer than a few days. If she could handle everything else in her life, she could certainly handle this. They took a turn and headed up the English wing and that's when she spotted Jane. She was unsuccessfully trying to shove a box of spray paint into her locker and she reached up to push her hair out of her face when they crossed paths. They made eye contact and it wasn't long before Jane took notice of her unlikely male suitor. She didn't look as shocked as everyone else but it was hard to miss the confusion that fell over her face. Before she could even think of anything to say, she was pulled to a stop in front of O'Neill's classroom. 

"This is your class, right?"

"Yes", she wasn't in the right headspace to reflect on how he knew that, "Well, I guess I'll see you later". 

She was fully prepared to deal with whatever headache O'Neill wanted to inflict upon them today when Kevin leaned in for a hug that she wasn't prepared for. She stiffened as his wiry arms circled around her, effectively freezing her there. She got a nice face full of his shirt and the only things she could really focus on were his woodsy cologne and how much she wanted him to let go of her. The moment lasted no longer than a few seconds, probably because Kevin could sense her urgent need to escape. 

"I know this is weird", he said, "But you're doing fine. I'll see you". 

She watched him head up the hall, feeling more and more like she was stuck in some alternate universe. Everything felt disorienting and she wished she could pinch herself and wake up. If anything was going to test her resolve, it was this. 

* * *

Word of the new relationship spread quickly and, by the time lunch rolled around, half the junior class was talking about it. Gossip traveled fast, Daria knew that from living with Quinn, but she had no idea something this insignificant would blow up like it did. She didn't see it as anything monumental, people changed relationships faster than they changed their clothes, but apparently this was nothing to gloss over. Again, she was reminded of the fact that she was one of the weirdos who had somehow been thrust into uncharted territory. Her favorite part about fading into the background was not having to deal with people and, now, she couldn't have that satisfaction. 

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Kevin was eyeing her closely, thick eyebrows furrowed in concern. She'd been stuck in her head all day, too shocked by all the change to keep herself grounded in the moment. There was nothing for him to worry about, she wouldn't freak out in the middle of class or something, but this was a lot for her to handle at once. 

She realized that she was holding her tray so tightly that her knuckles were turning white. That probably wasn't helping her case. She exhaled slowly before she loosened her grip, "I'm good". 

"We don't have to stay in here. We can go to the library or something...".

"And ruin your street cred? Let's just go". 

They bypassed her usual table where Jane was sitting, idly doodling in the margins of a notebook. This time, she didn't look up. The table Kevin led her to was smack in the middle of the cafeteria and teeming with people. There were few she recognized but she was glad to see Mack and Jodie; at least she wouldn't have to suffer alone. There was just enough room for the two of them to fit and she ended up squeezing in next to Kevin and a kid with a shock of red hair who was busy inhaling potato chips. She ended up so close to both of them that trying to use either of her arms meant she was elbowing someone in the ribs. This was certainly going to be a comfortable experience. 

"Hey, Daria", Jodie was smiling at her but the questioning look in her eyes told a different story, "So...how'd you two get together?"

There was the question of the day. What Jodie probably wanted to ask was what rock she'd smashed her head into to make dating Kevin look like a good idea. She didn't talk to Jodie much but even she knew about her disdain for people in general. Dating Kevin was as strange as her running for student body president. 

"Sorry, Jodie. Classified information". 

"Right", she shared a look with Mack, "I'm sure Jane's been...supportive". 

"She might be. If we were speaking". 

"Oh! I didn't know-"

"It's fine". 

She wanted to squash the conversation before it could even begin. Jodie wasn't a bad person, she was one of the few Daria could tolerate, but she didn't want to share her plight. Today was complicated enough. 

"Cool shoes".

The comment came from red-haired guy, who succeeded in spraying chip crumbs all over the table in the process. Daria thought he was kidding but there was a sincere smile plastered on his freckled face. 

"Uh, thanks. You might want to slow down; I know a guy that lost a finger that way". 

He let out a loud laugh before he wiped his hands on his shirt, "Good one. I'm Bruce, by the way. The guys call me Bruiser". 

He was so skinny that she hoped the name was meant to be ironic. They were interrupted by a guy sitting across the table from them with enough hair gel to permanently mold his hair to his head. He stuck out his hand and Daria had no choice but to shake it. 

"Miguel. You don't want to talk to this one; he's got no manners". 

He had a distinct Spanish accent and, from what she could see, he was one of the only guys at the table that actually had facial hair. Bruce rolled his eyes before he slapped his hand away. 

"A guy's gotta eat". 

"Next time, chew with your mouth closed". 

"Screw you".

"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

She watched the exchange with barely concealed amusement. She looked over at Kevin, who was shaking his head as they continued to bicker back and forth. 

"Are they always like this?"

He shrugged, "Not always. Sometimes, they're worse". 

She made a mental note of that as she dug into her meatloaf. At least there would be no shortage of entertainment while she was there.   


* * *

"I wanna see some hustle out there! Let's move!"

Football practice was ramping up in preparation for their first game of the season and Coach Gibson was not letting up on the heat. Kevin was pouring sweat as he jogged around the track, every muscle in his body screaming at him to throw in the towel. He knew that making varsity was going to require a lot of work but even he wasn't full prepared for just what that entailed. From play breakdowns, to offensive training, to rush drills; he had a hand in it all. He wasn't the team captain, that was Mack's job, but he seemed to do just as much work. He wiped his forehead with the edge of his t-shirt as he pushed through his fifth lap and he almost missed a certain blonde who was stomping her way over. 

"A few days after you pick a fight with me and you're already with someone else?!", she reached out to shove him which only succeeded in getting him to stop moving, "You're an asshole!" 

"I thought you moved on so I moved on too". 

Her cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of red as she glared at him, anger rippling off her in waves. She was pissed but he wasn't about to surrender so easily. He had to win the war, not just the battle. 

"Good, whatever". 

He crossed his arms, "Then why are you bothering me?"

"Because I wanted to stop my good friend from making the biggest mistake of his life", she seethed, "I mean, what are you thinking?!"

"What are you talking about?"

She looked like she wanted to yell some more but she quickly changed her tone. She let out a sigh before she lowered her voice, "You and Daria? You're total opposites. She's not a good fit for you". 

Something about the way she said it rubbed him the wrong way. It was as if she thought he was too dumb to make his own decisions, like he needed her guidance when it came to dating. He knew she was only trying to get him to agree with her but that didn't make the comment any less annoying. 

"How would you know that?"

"I know everything about you, Kevin. Like, everything", she gave him a pointed look, "I know what you like and I know what you don't". 

Brittany did know more about him than the average person. She knew that he had an unabashed love for 80's power ballads and that he'd peed his pants during a second grade spelling bee. She also knew about his liking for busty blondes that stemmed from his discovery of a Pamela Anderson poster at his cousin's house when he was eleven. What she didn't know what that his preferences weren't so one-note. Hell, he'd hooked up with a girl at some crappy grunge club downtown who was definitely not a bleach-blonde cheerleader. He knew now probably wasn't the best time to bring that up. He threw his hands up in frustration as she stared him down. 

"You don't get to make that call, Britt! I think Daria's pretty cool, so-"

"You're so full of shit! If you think that I'm going to-"

The sound of footsteps forced them both to turn around and face the lumbering form of Coach Gibson. He didn't look angry but Kevin had dealt with him enough to know when he was serious. He looked at the two of them for a long while before he jerked his thumb back towards the other side of the field, where the cheerleaders were practicing. 

"Brittany, I believe you have something to do that doesn't involve harassing my players". 

"....Sorry, Coach Gibson". 

She shot Kevin one last dark look before she hurried off. Kevin didn't watch her for long because the wrath of Gibson was upon him. 

"You keep whatever's going on between you two off my field, you got that?"

"I-"

"I don't wanna hear it", Gibson looked at his watch before he looked back at him, "I think you have time for four more laps. Move it!"

His legs were killing him but he knew better than to piss him off more by complaining. He nodded before he took off once again. 

* * *

"Tell me what's going on". 

Daria had barely made it through the front door before Quinn was stopping her in her tracks. With Kevin stuck at football practice, that meant she got to walk home. She was happy for the break, needing that brief time to collect her thoughts. The day wasn't bad by any means but it wasn't what she was used to. She was fully prepared to hole herself up in her room to properly reflect on it all but clearly that wasn't happening. 

"I swear, officer, it wasn't me". 

She sidestepped her sister and made her way for the stairs but Quinn was right at her heels, long-legged strides making it easy to trail her. She barely managed to walk into her room before Quinn was barreling in after her, disturbing the delicate boundaries they'd set in place. She wanted to kick her out but Quinn wouldn't be deterred so easily. She flopped down in her computer chair, effectively blocking her from escaping to the internet. 

"You and  _Kevin_?", she shook her head in disbelief, "You've never even been on a date and now you're with  _Kevin_?"

"I know you must be seething with jealous rage". 

She rolled her eyes, "Please, Daria, I'm past that phase. And don't think you're getting out of this that easily. You hate Kevin". 

"Hate is such a strong word". 

She didn't particularly like Kevin but he'd done nothing wrong to her. Sure, he'd aggravated her with his idiocy and he'd nearly cost her a grade but neither of those were done maliciously. Kevin was a harmless as a mouse...and probably about the same IQ level. Hating him wouldn't be doing her any favors. 

"You don't like him so what gives? Did you blackmail him or something?"

She stifled a laugh, "What kind of dirt do you think I could have on Kevin to make him do anything I say?"

"I don't know! That's why I'm asking!"

Seeing Quinn so worked up was enough for her to want to keep her in the dark. Quinn would spill the beans as soon as she was in a bind and that wouldn't bode well for her. It wouldn't be easy, Quinn was like a bloodhound - once she caught the scent of something, she never let it go....but the best course of action was to keep everything to herself. 

"I have no earthly idea what you're talking about", she sat down on the edge of her bed, "Plus, weren't you the one who told me to get out more? That's what I'm doing". 

"Ugh, fine! If this is some social experiment or something-"

"Are we done here?"

She looked like she wanted to say more but she finally relented and stood up. She gave her one last look before she left the room. Daria let out a sigh of relief before she sat down and switched on her computer. At least the day was almost over.


	6. Part Six

**Part Six**

One week quickly bled into three. 

Daria wasn't expecting someone like Brittany to have much resolve so it was a good thing that she hadn't killed Kevin yet. After the initial newness of the 'relationship' wore off, they fell into a normal rhythm. She thought spending so much time around Kevin would make her want to gouge her eyes out but she was pleasantly surprised to find that he was...nice to hang around. 

_"Is there a group of little Tarzans in your backyard? The ferocious, feral children next on Sick, Sad World!"_

Daria was curled up on the couch with a bag of chips and the remote when the sound of the doorbell interrupted her usual Friday night ritual. She rolled her eyes as she stood up and went to see who was outside. Quinn was long gone but that didn't mean some poor sap wasn't out there waiting for her. Daria was fully prepared to deliver her usual speech about Quinn being abducted by aliens when she opened the door and saw who was standing on the front porch. 

"Kevin? What are you doing here?"

She assumed it was clear that everything between them ended once they were outside of the school's jurisdiction. Home was off limits. 

"Can I come in?"

As much as she'd rather leave him outside, he was obviously there for a reason so she stepped aside to let him through the door. He briefly stopped to look at the TV screen as the Sick, Sad World announcer began his campy monologue. 

"You still watch this show?"

"Why are you here?"

While a debate about the subtle nuances of trash television would've been hysterical, she could barely concentrate when he was occupying her space. 

"Are you serious?", he blinked at her, continuing once it was clear that she wasn't kidding, "The Homecoming game is tonight. I could've sworn that I told you". 

She vaguely recalled a conversation that morning about whatever Ms. Li was blathering on about over the intercom but she'd done her best to block it out of her memory. Anything concerning school spirit was a surefire way to kill any interest she might've had and there wasn't much to start with. 

"Possibly. Look, I have some very important business to attend to-"

"No way", he stepped in front of the screen, "You are not flaking. Binding contract, remember?"

She couldn't argue about that; he had her signature to prove it. She gazed longingly at the bit of the screen that she could make out behind him, wanting nothing more than to return to her state of laziness. 

"Rowdy fans and a sport I have no interest in or a comfy couch and access to a fridge?". 

He rolled his eyes, "Okay, how about I make you a game plan?"

"I'm not tackling anyone". 

"It's better to stand at the fence and avoid the bleachers; people get crazy up there. You'll also be near the snack stand and you'll have clear view of all possible escape routes. Sound good?"

It wasn't a bad idea but the prospect of attending a school function was enough to make her skin crawl. She was weighing her options when the sound of footsteps set her on high alert. Unfortunately for her, her mom wasn't working late at the office or up to her neck in legal briefs so she had all the time in the world to cross-examine her. Which was exactly what would happen as soon as she saw Kevin. Daria watched as her mom made it to the landing and she could practically see the gears turning as she took notice of the two of them. This was going to be rough. 

"Kevin, what a nice surprise. Did Quinn invite you over?"

That would've made far more sense than the reality. Daria opened her mouth to speak, wanting to diffuse the situation before anything erupted. Even if she didn't know the best course of action, she needed to at least keep suspicions down. Before she could get the words out, Kevin answered for her. 

"Hi, Mrs. Morgendorffer. I'm here to take Daria to the game". 

Okay, now things were going to get weird. Her mom nodded a few times, as if her body was stuck on a loop. Daria knew that she was wracking her brain, trying to find some red flag that she'd missed. Was this a test? A joke? A rebellion? 

"I see. Are you two working on some sort of project?"

That was an easy explanation, an acceptable one. She wouldn't be caught dead at a sporting event but, if it was required...? Well, then, she'd have no choice. She said a silent prayer for her mom unwittingly giving her an easy out but then Kevin did the unthinkable. 

"Actually, we're dating", he smiled, as if he had no idea that he'd thrown them into a code red situation, "I'm surprised she hasn't mentioned it".

A million and one thoughts were racing through her head, the main one being 'why?'. This crossed the line, whether it was written down or not. Their families weren't supposed to get involved. That added another messy element to the mix, one that would be a pain to deal with. So much for home being a safe zone. The stunned look on her mom's face let her know that she needed to go. Now. She rushed towards the door and snatched up her combat boots, her fumbling fingers struggling to tie the laces. 

"We should really get going", she started, her focus on the carpet, "Can't have the star quarterback missing the kick-off". 

Her mom was saying something but she was too busy heading out the door to hear what it was. Kevin was right behind her but she would've liked to leave him there as punishment for his treachery. Everything was going so smoothly. Of course, he had to ruin that. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

He pulled away from the curb before he shot her a smirk, "How else was I supposed to get you out of the house?"

"I'm glad this is funny to you", she settled back into her seat, turning to glare out the window, "I'm the one that has to explain myself".

"Ah, come on, it's the first game of the season. Couldn't miss that". 

"Is that supposed to mean something to me?"

There was no real time to prepare herself because he managed to make it to the school in record time. She wasn't looking forward to being stuck outside for hours on end while a bunch of guys chased after a ball. All she could see from the parking lot was a sea of blue and gold. If she didn't feel out of place before, she certainly did now. 

"Now would be a great time to shoot me", she groaned as she stepped out of the car. 

"It'll be over before you know it. I've gotta hit the locker room but it'll be starting soon. You can go mingle".

"Hilarious". 

Two things happened at that moment that she had no real explanation for. The first was that she hugged him. The second was that he kissed her on the cheek. He was walking off before her brain could begin to make sense of what was going on. Clearly, all the commotion had her mixed up. Clearly. She absently brushed her fingers against her cheek as she made her way into the carnage. The snack stand was positioned nearest to the field entrance which gave her the perfect opportunity to distract herself with junk food. Manning the booth was none other than Jodie, sporting her very own yellow Lawndale Lions t-shirt and a not so pleasant smile. 

"How'd Li rope you into this one?", she asked as she grabbed herself an Ultra Cola and a chocolate chip cookie, "Or is this the requirement when you're dating the team captain?"

Jodie let out a heavy sigh as she took the money from her outstretched hand, "Nobody else would do it. I'm surprised you're here". 

"So am I", she looked around at all of the people milling about, "I never realized how big these things were".

"Are you kidding? Why do you think Ms. Li pumps so much money into football?"

She bit into her cookie, "Lack of moral compass?"

"I take it you and Jane still aren't talking".

"...Why?"

"Well, because you're here and she's not". 

"We're not symbiotic". 

Her and Jane were still in a weird place. Neither of them had spoken to each other since the news about her and Kevin broke. Jane was usually the first to corner her after something this unusual but, so far, it was radio silence. It wasn't totally on Jane, she wasn't exactly the most available either. They were at a stalemate and neither of them were willing to surrender. 

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean anything by it".

"I should go before all the good hiding spots are taken". 

She cracked open her soda can before she continued walking. As Kevin predicted, the bleachers were packed to capacity and there was no way she would find a seat before she went insane. There were a few other people perched along the fence but, for the most part, it was empty. She spent a few minutes finding a spot that was far enough away to give her space but still gave her a decent vantage point. The field was still empty save for the cheerleaders warming up on the sidelines. Most of them were talking in between half-hearted stretches but Brittany was putting in an honest effort. She stretched her arms above her head as she shook her pom-poms and then she was turning in her direction. They stared each other down for several lengthy seconds before Brittany's eyes narrowed into thin slits. Daria was prepared to move on when Brittany gave her the finger. Well,  _that_  was new. 

She chose to ignore the gesture for the time being, instead turning to look up at the scoreboard. Apparently, they were playing the Oakwood Taproots. All Daria knew about them was that their school was across town and they were Lawndale's biggest rivals. She expected things to get ugly. Before she could really think about the madness that was football mania, the marching band started an off-beat rendition of 'We Will Rock You'. That was her signal that she was about to witness her first ever high school football game. 

* * *

By half-time, they were 7 and 3. 

The Taproots played hard and Kevin ended up taking a nasty hit right before time was called. His left elbow was throbbing from where it connected with the ground but at least it wasn't broken. The rest of the guys were giving it their all but their defensive line was all over the place. They were leading strong for the moment but he wasn't sure how long that would last. He looked out at the crowd despite himself, feeling a pang of sadness as he realized there was no family waiting for him out there. His mom was working a late shift at the diner which meant that this was the first game she'd missed. He'd have to cheer himself on but he wasn't sure how. He snatched off his helmet and shook the sweat from his hair before he jogged off the field. He'd barely stepped foot off the grass when someone grabbed his arm. 

"You okay?"

Brittany was standing beside him, concern written all over her face. Once upon a time, he would've taken one look at her eyes and completely forgotten everything else. That wasn't going to happen tonight. 

"It's nothing, I've had worse falls". 

"Not that. You looked upset".

He  _was_  upset but it had taken her long enough to care about how he was feeling. He didn't want to do this right now. 

"I'm good". 

"...Well, you're doing great out there. Gonna be the first big win of the season".

"Don't jinx it"

"Sorry", she lightly squeezed his arm, "Kevvy, if you need to talk, you know you can always talk to me. Call me whenever". 

He knew exactly what she was trying to do. She wanted him to whine about how much he missed her so they could 'make-up' after the game and pretend nothing ever went wrong. He could've easily done just that but he wasn't following the script anymore. 

"Cool. See ya". 

He could feel her eyes burning holes into his back as he kept walking but he didn't turn back. A swell of anger bloomed in his chest that he didn't need boiling over. He couldn't be all over the place when he had a game to finish. The minute he got too distracted, it was all over. He was halfway to the snack stand when he spotted Daria staring straight at him. As he got closer, he realized she was balling and un-balling a plastic wrapper. 

"I guess things are going well". 

His greeting died on his lips. It took him a second to piece together what she was talking about. Of course she'd seen everything from where she was standing. Her face was as neutral as ever but the confusing mess of emotions hidden in her eyes told another story. 

"What?"

"Brittany", she balled the plastic up again, "She's been giving me the evil eye all night so that's a good sign". 

"She's just-"

"Though, I don't know if it's a smart move to flirt with your ex in front of half the school. It might blow our cover". 

Was it him or did her voice sound flatter than usual? If he didn't know any better, he'd say she was overcompensating. He leaned against the fence next to her, close enough to deter any potential eavesdroppers. 

"There was no flirting. I didn't mean to make you upset-"

"I'm not upset", she un-balled the plastic again, "None of this is real so it doesn't matter". 

It was like she'd sucker punched him. The anger he'd been trying to snuff out was now a full-fledged inferno. Every time he thought things were changing between them, she slammed the door in his face. He stared at her for a long while, so desperate for her to let him in. She was the most fascinating, frustrating person he'd ever met. 

"Right", he finally said before he stepped back, "You always know how to keep things in perspective". 

He watched as her mouth twitched like it sometimes did when she was nervous and then there was that look in her eyes that confused the hell out of him. It was like she enjoyed making him crazy. 

"...Hey, are you...are we okay?"

"We're cool. I need water". 

He walked off as calmly as he could manage, even as a flush of anger burned the back of his neck. He needed something to go right for him today. 

* * *

The Lions lost 24 to 12.

Kevin scored one touchdown the whole night and the crowd left, mourning such a heavy loss. Daria could barely pay attention to anything around her as she replayed her conversation with Kevin over and over again in her head. She'd regretted what she said as soon as the words left her mouth but the damage was done. She couldn't even think of anything to say that would smooth things over. An apology was there, at the back of her throat, but she couldn't seem to wrangle the words out. She stared at the cracks in the concrete as she tried to get a hold of herself. The point of all this was to repair his damaged relationship and it was working. Why should she care that she upset him? Why should she care about the way Brittany looked at him? Or the way she'd touched him? 

"Damn it", she muttered to herself, "What is wrong with you?"

"You ready to go?"

Kevin had already stashed his gym bag in the trunk while she was standing around moping. She didn't say anything as she got in the car and then they were heading down the street. She thought that Kevin was going to drop her off at home, especially after the way things had gone, but he kept driving. They passed all the usual haunts and they were nearing Dega Street when Kevin parked on a road she'd never been down before. It housed a number of shops from a pharmacy to a hardware store but it was a place aptly named 'Big Sub' that they walked into. 

It had a retro vibe what with its checkered floors and jukebox and Daria could tell that it'd been there a long time. It had a quaint feel to it, a much needed change from the chaotic day she'd had. She was examining the track selection when Kevin approached the counter. There was an older gentleman filling out a crossword puzzle who looked up as Kevin made his way over. He couldn't have been older than his mid-fifties judging by his thinning blonde hair and graying beard. He easily rounded the counter before Kevin could get there, reaching out to pull him into a bear hug. They didn't look related but they were obviously close. 

"Kev! Long time no see!"

"Hey, Mark. I know it's been awhile. How's the shop?" 

"What do you think?", he said with a snort as he pulled back, "Place has been dead ever since they built that coffee shop across the street. Guess people would rather drink espresso these days".

"Not this guy". 

"Don't I know it. How you holdin' up?"

It was the first time she'd heard anyone ask him that question. She swallowed hard as she remembered that she hadn't asked either. All this time around each other and she didn't even bother to check. 

"Taking it a day at a time, I guess". 

"Of course. And who's this lovely lady?"

She had no choice but to move away from the jukebox and join the conversation. She felt awkward and out of place but that seemed to be the trend for today. Mark was eyeing her curiously, clearly trying to figure her out. She was sure he'd never seen Kevin around someone like her. 

"Mark, this is Daria. Daria, Mark. He makes the best turkey sub in town". 

"Nice to meet you". 

"You too", a sub didn't sound like a bad idea; one cookie wasn't cutting it, "With such glowing praise, I guess I'll have to get a sandwich". 

Kevin placed a few bills on the counter, "Make that two and two chocolate shakes". 

"You got it". 

As Mark went to make their order, Kevin sat down at a table by the window. After a moment, she sat too. Outside, she could see people walking up and down the sidewalks, enjoying the evening. Mark was right about the coffee shop, she could see people sitting outside with their coffee and pastries. The two of them sat in silence for a moment, both of them staring out the window - lost in their own thoughts. She didn't know if he was still mad at her, it was always so hard to tell. She could've brought it all back up but she decided to start somewhere different. 

"How'd you find this place?"

It wasn't the kind of place someone stumbled on randomly. It had history, stories. She wanted to hear his. 

He picked up a sugar packet and closely examined it, "My dad. He used to come here all the time back in the day. Then, he started taking me. Kinda grew on me". 

"Oh", she immediately wanted to switch gears but she pushed past the initial nerves, "That sounds nice". 

"Yeah, I like it here. When I want to get away from everything, I'll drive around town. This place is open late so I can always stop for food. Plus, it's quiet. Kinda like a separate universe, you know?"

She could see exactly what he meant. It had it's own energy, almost like it was alive. She could see herself spending hours writing at a table, fully engrossed in her own world. 

"I get it", she sat back in her chair, "...You did a good job out there tonight". 

She knew the loss had to be crushing for him but she meant what she said; she wasn't trying to placate him. Despite the outcome, he'd played his ass off. She knew next to nothing about football but even she could tell that he was determined. He was quick on his feet and he made some close calls that helped to secure the few points they did make. He deserved some praise. 

"Not good enough", he sighed as he placed the sugar back down, "If my dad could've seen that...man, I blew it". 

"You didn't blow it. You did your best". 

He laughed but there was no joy in his voice, "It feels so stupid, you know? Caring so much about it. Part of me just wants to give it up. It's like I can't do it without him". 

"I'm not going to give you some sage advice but I will tell you that you have a passion for it and it would be stupider to let that go. It's...okay to miss him...but don't let that paralyze you". 

"I keep trying to move on like nothing happened but then I'll remember something so dumb, like how he always burned the eggs, and it's like I have to relive it all over again". 

She could hear the anguish in his voice and it struck a chord with her. She could never understand the pain of losing a parent but she could empathize with his words. 

"I know it's not the same but...", she sighed as she looked down at the table, "When my dad had his heart attack last year, I kept thinking about all those little things too. He always takes up the whole living room with these model train sets and I hate it but, when he was in the hospital, I couldn't stop thinking about how weird it would be if all that was gone". 

"It's like nothing's normal anymore. You kind of have to make it work, somehow, but nobody's given you the instructions". 

The conversation was momentarily halted when he went to collect their food. For the first time, they were really connecting. She never thought that Kevin would be so insightful but there was much more to him than the surface. Once he returned, they ate for a few minutes in silence. It was comfortable.

"...I know this is gonna sound crazy but...sometimes I get mad at him. I think about all the stuff he did wrong and I wonder why". 

She picked up a slice of shredded lettuce that had fallen onto the table, "Like?"

"He used to treat my teachers like trash", he shook his head, "He always acted like my bad grades were  _their_  problem. He'd threaten them about it; it was embarrassing".

She'd never met Doug but she could picture him being the type of man that stuck to his principles, even if they were wrong. 

"Everyone processes differently, Kevin", she pushed aside her empty plate, "I can't judge you for what you're feeling. Nobody should". 

"...You know, I've never really talked about this before. Nobody seems to get it". 

"Except me because I'm a downer". 

"No, you're not", he said seriously, "You just...get life. You think about things that everyone else ignores. It's cool". 

"Cool?"

That was a word nobody had ever used to describe her before. She was content being in her own bubble, away from everyone else's expectations of who she should be. That wasn't cool to most people she knew. 

"Yeah, cool. Maybe nobody else can see it but, one day, they will". 

She couldn't stop her eyebrows from raising in surprise, "Uh...thanks, Kevin". 

"I'll be right back". 

He left to use the bathroom and she couldn't help but watch after him until he'd disappeared. A strange feeling fell over her then, almost like an electric shock spreading through to her fingertips. Something had happened, something that she had no words for right now. It was new and kind of scary and so she concentrated on sipping her milkshake instead. She'd had enough excitement for one night.


	7. Part Seven

**Part Seven**

Daria really should've known that a simple trip to the convenience store would not go easily. She managed to wrangle up a four pack of toilet paper for her dad but she'd barely made it out of the store before she was confronted by the masses. She knew about the Homecoming parade, Kevin had mentioned it when he dropped her off the night before, but she'd forgotten all about it in her haste to make an extra twenty bucks. Of all the times for her brain to fail her. 

"Daria?" 

She was steeling herself to make a mad dash across the street when someone called her. She reluctantly turned back in the direction she came from to find Tom leaning against the wall of a drug store. A chill fell over her then and she contemplated pretending she hadn't seen him. It was crowded, she could use that to her advantage...if his green-eyed gaze didn't have her rooted to the ground. Her feet betrayed her and she somehow ended up right in front of him. He waved to her, having no idea of the inner war she was waging with herself. 

"What are you doing out here?"

Tom was a Fielding elite which meant setting foot anywhere near a Lawndale High School event would make him spontaneously combust.. At least, she could dream. 

"I was supposed to be meeting Jane. She said to meet up at the pharmacy but she's not here". 

He looked to her for some sort of explanation but she couldn't help him. 

"I haven't seen her". 

"Oh. Right", he nervously ran a hand through his hair, "...What are you doing here?" 

"Uh, I was actually on my way back home". 

"You'll never make it out alive by yourself. Let me walk you". 

The word 'no' was waiting on her tongue but it never emerged. She'd been trying her best to forget all about him but every thought, every feeling that she'd buried came rushing to the surface. His patient smile and kind eyes always had a way of putting her guard down, even when she was in one of the toughest situations she'd ever faced. 

"...I guess I can always use your body as a shield". 

"Resourceful", he said with a smirk, "Come on". 

She hesitated for a moment before she started walking alongside him. They were surrounded by students and neighbors alike but she'd never felt more alone. No amount of garish decorations or booming music was going to pull her from her study today. 

She didn't always like Tom. He so brazenly infiltrated the sacred bond she and Jane had cultivated and his mere presence was a personal attack to her. She did everything in her power to get him out of the picture but, the more she fought against him, the more eager he was to become friends. And that's what started it all: a tentative friendship. She didn't know when he started to invade her thoughts but something about how effortless it was to talk to him stuck out to her. 

"So", he cleared his throat, garnering her attention as they bypassed a clown handing out balloons, "How've you been?"

"Fine. You?"

"Good. I'm glad I ran into you. I think we need to talk". 

He was? She was under the impression that he'd been trying to avoid her as much as Jane. She diverted her attention towards the Fashion Club float and tried to laugh at how ridiculous Quinn looked up there but even that wasn't a good enough distraction. 

"About Jane?"

"Nope", he shook his head as he sidestepped a group of middle schoolers, "About our situation". 

For a split second, she wondered if she could rush into the street and get hit by an oncoming parade float. It was a comforting thought but it was ultimately useless. Tom had clearly been psyching himself up for this talk and she wasn't going to escape him so easily. Why today? Why now? 

"I don't know what you mean. We have no situation. Look, I'm really on a time crunch so I need to go". 

"Wait! Why is everyone so mad at me?"

She wasn't mad at him; she was mad at herself for thinking this would end in anything but disaster. 

"Tom, when I moved to this town, I knew immediately I'd be a total outcast", she dipped her head down, keeping her eyes trained on the concrete, "And in the one moment of good luck I've had in my entire life, I met another outcast who I could really be friends with and not have to feel completely alone. And then you came along and screwed the whole thing up".

It wasn't fair to heap the blame on him, as if he alone was the sole source of all her woes, but it felt damn good. Maybe if he'd stayed away, nothing would've gotten out of control. Emotions were always annoying and complicated for her but at least she'd been doing a good job of beating them into submission before he came along. All she wanted was everything to go back to the way it was. 

"All I did was meet a girl I thought was cool and I went out with her for a while. We started to get bored with each other. It happens all the time. It's nobody's fault".

She wanted to believe him, she really did, but there was a little voice in the back of her head that wouldn't allow her the satisfaction. She stopped walking and finally turned to look him in the eye. 

"Oh yeah? Would you still be bored with her if I weren't around?"

He opened his mouth to answer but she never got to hear what she was hoping for because that was the moment that Leo the Lion decided she needed a rousing cheer to bring up her spirits. 

It was official; the universe hated her.   


* * *

The Homecoming parade was nowhere near as fun as it used to be and losing the game only made it worse. Kevin stared out at the crowd from his place atop the Lawndale Lions float, feeling more and more like he was part of the circus with each passing minute. The whole thing was always kind of cheesy but at least, back then, he made a show of it. Today, he didn't even have enough enthusiasm to throw out candy. 

"Kevin, we're supposed to be waving". 

Standing next to him was Angie, the 'elected' football sweetheart.. This year, the team chose her based on principle and not much else. He wasn't with Brittany anymore and, out of respect for him, they made the switch. He appreciated their effort but he wouldn't have cared if Brittany won the vote. Whether she was there or not, he still couldn't make sense of the mess in his head. 

"Kevin!"

"Okay!" He lifted his arm and gave a half-hearted wave to appease her, "Happy?" 

She sighed, "Look, Brittany will come around". 

"Huh?"

"...You didn't hear it from me but she's breaking up with Jacob". 

That explained her sudden interest in speaking to him again.Daria was right, his plan was working, so why did he feel so empty? He could go back to Brittany and pick up where they left off but it wouldn't be long before one of them got bored. They were only prolonging the inevitable. They would keep this up until graduation and then what? 

Angie was watching him as if she expected some sort of celebration dance but that wasn't going to happen. He returned his attention to the crowd, ignoring her for the time being, and that's when he spotted Daria.

She'd made it clear that she wouldn't be going anywhere near the parade and he couldn't blame her. The parade was just a glorified way for Ms. Li to pat herself on the back; the rest of them were merely props. He watched Daria head past the record shop and that's when he realized she wasn't alone. 

He'd only seen Tom once or twice before but it wasn't hard to recognize the boyish haircut and navy sweater. They were walking close together...too close for comfort.He knew that it was packed but did they have to be shoulder to shoulder? A flush of anger warmed the back of his neck, casting aside any hope he had of a peaceful day. 

"Yo, Kev, I think we're out of candy over here". 

He wordlessly handed Robert his bucket; it wasn't like he'd be doing his job anyway. Where were they going? His eyes trailed them up the street and they were almost lost in the fray when they were cut off by Leo. He silently thanked the heavens for such a perfect opportunity before he was kneeling down to get the driver's attention. 

"Stop the float".

Angie looked at him like he was insane, "What?! Kevin we can't just stop in the middle of the-" 

"Stop the float; I'm done". 

The float barely crawled to a stop before he was climbing down. The bewildered stares from Angie and his teammates did nothing to deter him. People started to cheer as he wormed his way into the crowd but he wasn't there to shake hands. He must've looked as pissed as he was because everyone in his way scrambled to move. 

"Hey!", he called out to Daria and Tom before they could try to cross the street. 

Daria whipped around as soon as she heard his voice. His gaze softened as he studied the strange look in her eyes. He'd clearly walked into an awkward situation. He was about to ask her what was wrong before he remembered Tom. Just looking at him brought the anger right back. 

"What are you doing here?"

It took Tom a second to register that he was talking to him. 

"Don't worry", he pointed towards the parade, "I'm only here to observe the native Lawndale High students in their natural habitat". 

It rubbed him the wrong way to hear Tom talk about his friends as if they were a pack of wild animals. Daria could make that joke, he knew her well enough now to understand her humor, but Tom didn't get that privilege. 

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I think it's pretty self-explanatory", he looked down at his jersey like that explained everything, "On second thought, maybe not". 

Kevin accepted the fact that he was no genius but he wouldn't stand back and let some prep school asshole insult him. He instinctively clenched his fist as he imagined what it would feel like to punch him in the face. The only thing stopping him was Daria. He didn't want her to see that side of him. 

"Look, I think you should go".

He was delighted by the dumbstruck look on Tom's face. As much as he enjoyed ruffling his feathers, he also wanted to give Daria an out. He'd seen enough shit go down between Brittany and her friends to know that Daria needed to steer clear of Tom at all costs if she wanted Jane to talk to her again. 

"I'm sorry?"

"Maybe you should learn how to read the room". 

Uncertainty fell over him as he wondered if he was overstepping his boundaries. He wasn't trying to cause problems but he couldn't stop the jealousy from spreading. After last night, he couldn't stop thinking about how comfortable he was around her. It was wishful thinking; she was way too smart and strong-willed to ever like him. 

"You're the one that's bothering us". 

"No, I'm checking in on my girlfriend". 

He caught Daria as she took a step back and shifted herself away from them. That was a bad sign. 

"Your what?!", he stammered, "I wasn't aware that you two spoke the same language". 

It was another dig that made his jaw clench. What he wouldn't give to wipe that smug grin off his face...

"Stop it", Daria didn't sound angry, only exhausted, "Stop talking about me like I'm not standing right here". 

Tom threw his hands up in exasperation, "What's happening? I thought-" 

"Nothing's happening", she interrupted, "Other than me leaving".

Something about Tom's tone gave him pause, "Wait a minute...you came here to, what, to win her over? Was that your master plan?" 

"What? No, that's not..." 

Tom started to trip over his words and Kevin knew that he had him trapped. 

You're fuckin' pathetic. She doesn't want you, okay? So leave".

"Daria, I-"

"Don't talk to me", she shifted the toilet paper in her arms, almost like she was using it as a shield, "I can't believe I almost....I need to go". 

She started to back up again but she ended up turning right into Jane. They weren't the type to devolve into catfighting but the open hostility in Jane's eyes was a lot worse. 

"Well, that's one way to make an exit", she looked around at the three of them, "The question is, what's going on here?"

Several lengthy minutes passed where nobody answered. He had the sinking suspicion that he wasn't a welcome addition to this reunion and he wasn't about to butt in. It was Daria who bravely pushed ahead. 

"Tom was waiting for you at the drug store", she didn't flinch away from Jane's icy glare, "That's where I met him...ran into him".

"That's funny because I told Tom to meet me in front of Drugs N' Stuff and he wasn't there".

Tom shook his head, "No, you said to meet at the  _pharmacy_  and that's where I was". 

"I tried there too but I guess you guys left before I got there", her tone was anything but warm, "But that doesn't answer my question". 

"Jane, come on, knock it off", Tom tried to reach for her hand but she pulled it away, "This is silly". 

"What's silly about a simple question? Unless you don't want to tell me?"

He'd been involved in enough fights to know that this was going to end badly. 

"Nothing happened", Daria interjected, "I was leaving"

Jane shook her head, "I want to hear what  _he_  has to say". 

"Jane, don't put her in the middle of this".

"It's too late for that!" 

Kevin saw the sadness cross Daria's face, even if it was only for a moment, but neither of them were paying attention. He was already planning on finding some way to distract them when he spied two freshman quickly headed in their direction. They were too busy splattering each other with paint to care who or what was in their way. They were on a direct collision course towards Daria, who had no idea what was about to happen. He made a split second decision, reaching out to grab her by the shoulders and manuever her behind him. He felt the cold paint seeping into his sneakers and dripping down his scalp before he noticed the puddles of blue and yellow pooling on the sidewalk. That was one way to get their attention. 

Daria blinked a few times as she watched a splotch of paint drip over the number six on his jersey. 

"Are you alright?" 

"It'll wash out", he answered, even if he had no way of really knowing. 

"...I think that was the modern equivalent of laying your cape over a puddle of water for me". 

Was she...actually smiling?, "What's the toilet paper for?" 

She looked down at her arms as if a light had dawned on her, "Oh no. My dad's waiting for me". 

"I can take you home". 

"Shouldn't you get changed?" 

"It's no big deal". 

Daria turned back towards Jane and Tom, who were in a state of shock, "...I guess we should get going". 

He grimaced as they started walking and he realized paint had gotten into his socks too. He looked back over his shoulder to see if Jane and Tom were still there but they were gone. 

* * *

A weight lifted from her shoulders with each step she took. Daria was happy to leave the parade and the madness of the day behind her. As the noise grew fainter and fainter, she could finally breathe easy. Nothing was resolved. If anything, it was probably worse but she'd have plenty of time to beat herself up about it at home.

"What were you two talking about?"

Kevin had been remarkably silent for the first few minutes of their trek but she knew that he was stewing over something. He was probably thinking about Tom, about Jane, about everything that had gone wrong today and how she was somehow responsible for all of it. ...Maybe that last part was just her. 

"What do you mean?" 

"You and Tom. I saw you two talking". 

"And so you came down to make a scene"

Nothing angered her more than being seen as some damsel in distress. She didn't need saving; not from him or anybody else. 

"I was helping you"

"That's funny, I don't remember asking". 

He wiped some paint from his forehead which only succeeded in leaving a bright blue streak, "Don't you want Jane to talk to you?" 

"Not you too. I haven't done anything. I'm not planning on doing anything". 

She was done being looked at like the enemy. She was done being accused when being with Tom was the furthest thing from her mind. 

"For someone so smart, you really don't get it", he said, exasperation lacing every word, "Do you even see the way he looks at you?"

"I....". 

"He wants you, Daria, whether you get it or not. Don't you wonder why he spent so much time talking to you instead of looking for Jane?" 

"What about me?", irritation was mounting and, pretty soon, she wouldn't be able to hold it in anymore, "Does anyone ever think about what I want? About how I feel?"

"What  _do_  you want?" 

"I want my life to go back to normal. I'm not going to throw away the best friend I've ever had for a crush. Because that's all it is: a crush. I'm not yearning after him. I don't want to be with him. Period". 

She'd been struggling to find the right words to describe how she felt and all it took was enough prodding for her to have an epiphany. As nice as Tom was and as much as she enjoyed his company, the thought of dating him hadn't crossed her mind. 

Kevin opened his mouth to speak but he clamped it shut again as they stopped in front of her house. She made no moves to walk inside yet; she'd finally opened the door and now everything she'd been feeling for the past few months needed to be let out. 

"...It was nice to feel like I wasn't a freak for once in my life. I don't exactly have a trail of men begging at my feet", she exhaled slowly, "I was so distracted by the idea of a guy enjoying my company that I didn't really think about what that meant. I guess I'm naive". 

Her face was red from embarrassment and she prayed that it was dark enough that Kevin couldn't see. She wasn't used to being this vulnerable. Her walls were the only things keeping her safe and, at that moment, there were none. 

"Human, you mean?", he smiled, "Everyone likes to be appreciated, Daria. Doesn't make you a bad person". 

"Just shallow". 

He shook his head, "If you were that shallow, you wouldn't care at all". 

"It doesn't matter because Jane's probably never going to look at me again after today". 

"She'll come around. You've just gotta be honest with her like you were with me". 

"Easier said than done", she took a step towards the door, "Um, I should go see if my dad is okay. Thank you". 

"For what?"

"Listening. Good night, Kevin". 

She spared him one last lingering look before she walked inside and quietly shut the door behind her. She was replaying their conversation in her head as a small smile curled her lips. The panicked sound of her dad's voice shattered the moment. 

"Daria?! Daria, is that you?! Oh, thank god!"

_Back to reality._


	8. Part Eight

**Part Eight**

October seemed to appear as if by magic. Kevin was always a sucker for colorful autumn leaves and cool temperatures which was why he'd decided to enjoy his lunch outside. He stopped to watch a squirrel climb a tree branch as sauce from his meatball sub unknowingly migrated towards his sweatshirt sleeve. 

"Don't zone out on me".

Daria was sitting next to him, her own tray abandoned while she looked over the mess that was his Algebra homework. She pointed her pencil at the problem he was currently slogging through, "I know you can finish this one". 

He wasn't so sure about that and he had the eraser marks to prove it. Classes were proving themselves to be a million times tougher than last year and he was already falling way behind. The year wasn't even close to over yet but he wasn't optimistic that he'd make any improvement.

When he didn't answer, she flipped open his notebook to a clean sheet of paper. She neatly rewrote the problem on a line before she slid the notebook over to him. 

"Do we have to do this?"

He'd agreed to work on his grades but, so far, he wasn't keeping good on his word. It was too easy for him to fallback on an excuse. Practice ran too late, he'd forgotten his textbook at school, he was too tired. By this point, he'd backed himself into a corner. 

"Yes", Daria reached over, easily wiping away a smear of sauce from his shirt with her thumb, "All I'm asking for is an attempt". 

He picked up his pencil and forced his brain to dredge up anything related to what Mrs. Bennett taught that afternoon. The only image he kept circling back to was of the stuffed purple octopus she kept on her desk. That's what he ended up doodling in the corner of the page. 

"Kevin"

"I don't remember", he muttered, "I already told you, I'm an idiot-"

"Stop it", she held up a hand to ward off any further comment, "You're not an idiot and you're not incapable. It's just going to take time. And effort. So try". 

"I am trying!"

"No, you're doodling", she sighed, "You want to get x by itself. Does that sound familiar?" 

Kevin decided that numbers and letters didn't need to mix. The numbers were bad enough on their own. He waited for some sort of enlightenment to hit him as he stared down at the page. A gentle breeze blew through his hair but that was all he got. 

"First, you have to get rid of your parentheses".

Maybe he was born with some kind of faulty wiring in his brain. At least that would explain why information didn't seem to fit together. Daria let out another lengthy sigh but, instead of declaring him a lost cause, she surprised him.

"Do you want me to show you?"

She shifted over to help him, so close that he could smell the fresh clean scent that clung to her skin. To most, that would've seemed boring but he was fascinated by it. With Daria, what you saw was what you got, whether you liked it or not. Her unflinching resolve was impressive but it was those brief glimpses behind the curtain that made him eager to learn more. His mind wandered, as it seemed programmed to do, and he couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to kiss her. 

It wasn't the first time that the thought surfaced but he never ran with it. 'No kissing' was a rule for a reason, even if he didn't fully understand why. Despite his usual bravado, he knew he had to tread lightly around her. While any other girl would've cottoned on to the way he'd been staring for the past ten minutes, she was in her own world. Daria may have been a million times smarter than him and most other people he knew but plenty of other areas were fuzzy for her. Namely, any kind of social interaction. 

"...Like I said, you want to get x by itself", she started writing, unaware that he'd been distracted, "To do that, you're going to take the number on the outside and multiple it by what's in your parentheses. So, if you multiple negative two by four, you get...?"

It took a moment for him to register that she'd asked him a question, "Uh...Negative six?"

"Right, so if you rewrite your equation, it's going to be-"

He groaned in protest, "Lunch is supposed to be a break". 

"We haven't even finished one problem". 

"That's because I'm so burned out. We can do this later. Please?"

She looked like she wanted to refuse but, after a moment, she relented and set aside his work. 

"Don't think we're done with this". 

"There's actually something I wanted to ask you". 

It was a question he'd been tiptoeing around all morning. He could tell that she was starting to come out of her shell, bit by bit, but he was worried about pushing her too far. He was sure that, any minute, she'd call the whole thing off and never speak to him again. She raised an eyebrow in question as she took a bite out of an apple. He couldn't keep stalling; it was now or never. 

"There's a party on Saturday". 

"What a shame, I already have plans". 

"At least let me finish", he laughed, "Skylar Feldman's throwing it. He's got this huge house with a hot tub and a mini-bar-"

"Do you want me to go or not?"

"I'm just giving you all the details". 

He wouldn't call himself an expert but he'd been to enough parties to know that this one was going to be big. He needed her to be fully prepared for the very real possibility that chaos might ensue. She took another bite of her apple and then another and he thought she might not say anything else at all but she finally did. 

"Not a chance in hell". 

It was exactly the response he expected, "See, you have to".

" _You_  get to pick and choose". 

He knew his laid-back approach would come back to haunt him eventually. Typically, he'd accept her refusal. A party was a party was a party. Except, this would be the first party they'd gone to together. He was itching for another glimpse inside her head and he was willing to take the challenge of guiding her out of her comfort zone. 

"Okay, how about a compromise?"

She placed her apple core on her tray, "...Continue". 

"We go to the party but you get to choose when we leave". 

One of the most important things he'd learned about Daria was that she needed control. She didn't do spontaneous; she liked order and familiarity. If he was going to drag her out into the big wide world then she needed a safety net. 

"What if I want to leave in five minutes?"

He laughed, "Then we leave". 

It wasn't the party that he cared about but getting her out of her element. She was so rooted in her reality, so stubborn, and it was curious to see how she reacted when all her usual defenses were stripped away. He hadn't stopped thinking about the night after the parade, about how she'd finally allowed him to see the full picture. He wasn't sure why she chose to keep herself so bound by her own rigid standards, especially when the person she tried to hide was brilliant. 

She toyed with the paper from her straw while she stared out into the distance. Maybe this still wasn't enough to change her mind...

"I'll go".   


* * *

Art class used to be a break from the tedium of the day but that was before she and Jane stopped talking. 

Daria stared at the blank canvas in front of her while all of her supplies sat unused and unnoticed. Ms. Defoe had given them a brief overview on still life before she set a bowl of plastic fruit in front of them and told them to have at it. She had no desire to transfer the image to canvas and so she observed the only person that was painting in earnest. Jane was letting her brush dance across her canvas without a care in the world. Jane's 'fruit' had turned into an assemblage of abstract shapes, all fascinating and unique in their own way. That was Jane; always marching to the beat of her own drum. She wanted to say something, anything, but she didn't. 

Not talking to Jane for a week was hard but an entire month was even scarier. Jane was always the one that offered her advice in times of personal crisis and she needed that now more than ever. The fondness she had for a certain dark-haired football player was starting to drive her crazy. She'd never been good at figuring out how people operated. Jane was the charismatic one, the socially adept one. This was way beyond her scope of comprehension. 

"Did I tell you about how Kevin's been ignoring me?"

Brittany's perky voice carried over to her from a few easels down. She told herself to keep facing forward but she ended up turning anyway, curiosity getting the better of her. It was no secret that Brittany viewed her as public enemy #1. She'd committed the worst crime imaginable by 'stealing' Kevin away and that was an unforgivable offense. She wasn't concerned with what Brittany thought about her but, rather, what she'd do because of it. 

"Only a few hundred times", Jodie grumbled as she tried to focus on the assignment. 

Brittany pressed on, not caring whether Jodie wanted to listen or not, "I called him last night and he never called back. I bet his mom didn't even tell him". 

"Won't Jacob be upset about you calling him?"

She rolled her eyes, "We broke up last week, Jodie. I don't get how he can do this to me! It's screwed up!"

Daria absently trailed her brush into a dot of red paint in an attempt to ward off the barrage of thoughts before they could appear. 

"Maybe you two should call it quits. I mean, he seems like he's doing better". 

Brittany pursed her lips, "Don't be weird, Jodie". 

Jodie shook her head, "You two cheated on each other every other month". 

"Oh and you have the perfect relationship? Once we talk, everything will be fine", she cast a not-so-furtive glance in her direction before she continued, "It's not like things will last with Miss Better Than Everyone anyway". 

Daria lifted her brush and smeared a line down the center of her canvas. No part of her was threatened by Brittany but, inside, it felt like a little piece of her armor had cracked. She didn't think she was better than anyone, most people had just proven themselves to not be worth her time. Did that make her pretentious? She liked to think that she wasn't but there was evidence to the contrary. There were plenty of people that she looked down on based on her own set of criteria, as if she alone could be judge and jury. Hell, she even judged Jane whenever she dared to try something new. Wasn't that why she hated Tom in the first place? She started to paint a giant blue circle over the red line, already having given up on the idea of finishing this project. It would've taken over the entire surface if she didn't notice Jane watching her. 

The look they shared lingered on for several minutes and she caught the barest hint of sympathy in Jane's blue eyes before she shifted her gaze elsewhere. It wasn't much...but it was enough.   


* * *

"Do you think I'm a snob?"

Kevin guided his car down the familiar suburban street while Blink-182 played over the radio and tried to figure out where the hell that question had come from. He was used to Daria striking up conversation after school, whether it was about something dumb that happened in one of her classes or about her family. Things usually didn't get this heavy. 

"Why?"

She kept her gaze focused out the window, "Answer the question". 

He thought that she was a lot of things: smart, funny, cute. Snob never crossed his mind. He thought about the word as he drummed his fingers against the steering wheel and tried to come up with a decent response. 

"You're not a snob", he started, figuring that was a good place to begin, "But I think you kinda judge people". 

"Oh". 

"Everyone does in some way but...I think you do it so people can't hurt you. If you already have this idea of what you think they'll be like, you don't have to give them the time of day". 

She pulled at a loose string on the sleeve of her blazer, "It's not my fault that people are a constant disappointment". 

"See? That's what I mean. You've already decided. Maybe that's a good thing, I dunno. High school can be shitty, most people are only out for themselves", he paused, "But that's not everyone. You cut everyone out and you miss out on some of the good stuff, too. You can't be afraid to open up sometimes". 

He pulled to a stop in front of her house and cut the engine but he knew the conversation was far from over. 

"So you think I'm scared?", she finally asked. 

"In some ways. You're really confident in others. You don't get caught up in the same crap that everyone else does. You're smart enough to pay attention to the bigger picture. Everyone else is worried about who so-and-so is dating or what clothes to buy", he paused for a moment before he decided 'to hell with it', "Or what parties to go to. Some day, when I'm working at a gas station, you'll have life all figured out". 

"...No, I won't", she met his gaze, "You're right. I am afraid. We're such selfish creatures, only out for ourselves". 

"I don't think so. I think, we're all scared of each other. Everyone's got bits of themselves that they hide away". 

"Even you?"

He'd been shielding himself more and more lately, all of his fears and insecurities too difficult to share. It was scary to put your trust in someone new...but he was willing to give it a chance. 

"Even me. Is this about Brittany?" 

"I've gotta go", she reached down to grab her bag, "I appreciate your honesty".

Whenever he took five steps forward, she took ten steps back. It was maddening. 

"I can't do anything if you won't tell me what's going on".

She gave him a small smile, "That's the idea. It's nothing. Just...something I need to figure out". 

He felt more confused than ever as he watched her disappear inside.   


* * *

Kevin managed to open up a door that she'd kept locked for ages. She had never felt more self-conscious than she did sitting across from him in that car, listening to him pick her apart in a matter of minutes. She'd asked, hadn't she? And he'd given her the truth. She wandered into the kitchen out of habit but food was far from her mind. 

She knew that everyone had walls, defenses, but hers were thicker than most. Ever since she was a kid, she was painfully aware of how she stood out. Keeping to herself was simply an act of survival. Yes, she was terrified of people and of how cruel they could be. Every time she tried to let someone in, it always went wrong. Just look at the mess she was in now. 

"Daria, are you okay?"

She nearly tripped over her own feet in her haste to turn around. She'd completely missed that her mom was sitting at the table. She couldn't stop the embarrassment from spreading, even if she hadn't said anything. She didn't like being caught off-guard. She turned back around to rummage through the cabinets, avoiding her calculated gaze. 

"I'm fine. You're home early". 

"I took a half day; I thought we could catch up". 

She knew this day of reckoning would come. Her mom may have been a workaholic but that just meant her ability to multitask was phenomenal. She didn't forget things. She pulled down a half-empty box of ginger snaps before she grudgingly sat down at the table. 

"School hasn't changed and I haven't gotten hooked on any hard drugs". 

"How's Kevin?", her mom asked, not fazed by her quips, "You two seem to be getting along". 

If only she knew the half of it. Being around Kevin made her nervous and excited and extremely confused. Most of her crushes had a single explanation. With Trent, it was his looks. With Tom, it was his company. With Kevin, it wasn't so easy to pinpoint. She chose to remain silent as she bit into a cookie. 

"I'm glad that you're getting out more". 

She couldn't resist the urge to roll her eyes. So, she'd been to a few football games. Her worldview hadn't drastically changed and she wouldn't be donning a Lawndale Lions t-shirt anytime soon. 

"Don't worry. I'll return to my sedentary lifestyle in time for hibernation". 

She looked at her, "I meant that it's nice to see you going out, even without Jane". 

They hadn't spoken about her issues with Jane but it was painfully obvious that something was amiss when she hadn't been to Jane's house in weeks. 

"It was either that or get a prison pen-pal". 

"I'll be honest, I never thought you'd end up with Kevin". 

There was nothing malicious in her tone but it still rubbed Daria the wrong way. Why did everyone always have to bring up how different they were as if it wasn't constantly on her mind? 

"Yes, because I am but a mere peasant". 

"No", she sighed, "You didn't seem too fond of him last year from what I recall". 

"I didn't know him then". 

In her annoyance, the truth had slipped out. She hastily reached for another cookie but her mom managed to slip the box from her grasp. 

"So, you gave someone a chance?"

The urge to tell her that their whole relationship was a lie was strong but it wasn't true anymore. It might've started out as a ruse but their relationship had shifted in so many ways. She didn't see him as a nuisance anymore but as a friend. 

"Mm", she said while she drummed her fingers against the edge of the table, "I don't remember you having this talk with Quinn". 

Her mom laughed, "Your sister likes getting nice gifts and going on fancy dinners. She's not quite mature enough for a committed relationship yet". 

"No debate there". 

"I won't bother you about it anymore", she stood up, "All I wanted to say is that it's been awhile since I've seen you this happy". 

She stopped drumming, "Mom, are you on some new medication?"

"I'll be upstairs if you need me". 

She watched her mom leave the room with a touch of envy. She was good,  _really_  good. She let out a sigh before she stood and retreated to her room. She had a lot to think about.

 


	9. Part Nine

**Part Nine**

No amount of pleading to the gods could stop Saturday from arriving. Daria spent her day doing what she did best: avoiding all human contact. Too bad that couldn't last forever. She dragged herself out of bed and into the shower where she ended up spending more time brooding than she originally planned. She was fighting to dry her hair as fast as possible when Quinn happened by the bathroom door. 

"You are NOT wearing that". 

She switched off the blow-dryer before she shifted her gaze to her reflection. The outfit in question was nothing special, just a simple black t-shirt and baggy jeans. It was her go-to in a pinch since she didn't have much to choose from. It didn't scream 'ready to party' but she wasn't and so it was perfect. Quinn waltzed into the bathroom, despite her silence, disturbing the privacy it provided. 

"You can't wear that on a date", she stressed as she glanced over her clothes, "Especially not those jeans".

"Good thing this isn't a date". 

She ran a brush through her hair as she thought about the implications of a real date. Kevin hadn't mentioned it and it wasn't like they were going out to Chez Pierre. A party hardly counted as a romantic endeavor. Quinn further desecrated the sanctity of her personal bubble by sliding the brush from her fingers and placing it by the sink. 

"Trust me, it's a date. I think I would know", she placed a hand over her heart as if she was swearing some sacred oath, "I, being your sister and the only fashion expert in the house, have decided to graciously offer you my services. Free of charge...this time". 

"Worried I'll embarrass you?"

Quinn's brimming social calendar meant that she was also invited to the same party. The two of them usually managed to maintain the boundaries they established at home but, now that she was dating Kevin, the gap had grown smaller. It wouldn't surprise her if Quinn was only doing this to save face. 

Quinn chanced a glance towards the door before she lowered her voice, "Look, I'm trying to help you. I know you're not good at the whole dating thing". 

"Gee, thanks". 

"I mean, I know you're not going to  _say_  you want to look good even if you really  _do_  and you'd rather leave the house in  _that_  then ever ask me for help so I'm doing the hard work for you". 

It pained her to admit it but Quinn had a point. She was clueless when it came to dressing up and daring to ask anyone for advice would lead to an awkward, embarrassing conversation that she'd rather avoid. Still, that begged the question of why she was so worried about it in the first place. What was wrong with the way she looked? Wouldn't changing be feeding into the social code that she hated so much? 

"The clock's ticking. You're not the only one that needs to get ready, you know". 

"Okay", she said with a resigned sigh, "But I draw the line at makeup". 

"You ruin all the fun". 

She let herself be dragged into Quinn's lair and steeled herself for the worst. She had no idea what she was getting herself into. 

* * *

"Going out?"

Kevin was headed for the door when the sound of his mom's voice had him heading back towards the kitchen. She looked up from the magazine she was paging through once he walked in the room. Between her work schedule and his football practices, the two of them barely saw each other these days. 

"Let me get a look at you", she reached out to tousle his hair, "You look more and more like your father every day". 

"Ma..."

"You do. It's nice to see you feeling yourself again". 

He wasn't sure what he felt like these days, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you aren't holing yourself up in your bedroom all day. This might as well be the second coming". 

There was a lightness in her voice but he knew when she was being serious. The look on her face was one of careful contemplation and he shuffled on his feet as a cloud of anxiety lurked over him. He'd been dancing around this discussion for ages but he knew it would only be a matter of time before it was brought to the surface. 

"You haven't talked about him", she waited to gauge his reaction before she pressed on, "I know it's been hard for you, Kev. You don't need to keep it all bottled up". 

"There's nothing to talk about. It happened and now it's over". 

She was struggling with enough of her own problems, she didn't need to be burdened by his too. How could he explain to her that he was so angry, all the time? It was better to swallow it down, shut the door, pretend it wasn't there. If he kept it up, maybe he'd start to believe it himself. 

"You're definitely stubborn like him", she lightly squeezed his hand, "Sometimes, I feel like I'm losing you too". 

"I'm not going anywhere", there was the guilt, settling hard against his chest, "I'm okay. Promise". 

"Well, I won't hold you up any more. Go enjoy yourself". 

"I won't stay out too late". 

She waved off his comment as she went back to her reading, "Don't worry about your old mom". 

He always did. He grabbed his keys from the hook near the door and then he was leaving. As he started the engine on his car, he couldn't help but think about all the promise the night held. He'd been to more parties than most of the junior class combined but this would be his first party with Daria. He had no idea how she felt about him, if she even felt anything at all, and this was his way of figuring it all out. He drummed his thumbs against the steering wheel as he headed down the familiar suburban street, nervous excitement coursing through his veins. By the time he pulled up to the Morgendorffer house, he was so jittery that he couldn't stop fidgeting with his shirt sleeves. Seeing Daria made it ten times worse. 

No part of him was expecting the change in outfit and it was like someone had knocked him over the head. The black dress that she was wearing wasn't revealing, it was short sleeved with a hem that stopped just above the knee and a neckline that didn't expose, but it proved that she definitely had a figure. Even her boots, which he saw every day, seemed fresh and exciting in this new context. 

"I was starting to think you'd changed your mind", she said as she hopped into the car, "Not that I would've complained". 

He caught the barest hint of lace at the top of her stockings as she reached for her seatbelt and he skillfully cut his eyes towards the windshield before she could catch his gaze lingering. If he thought he was nervous before, he was a damn wreck now. Tonight was going to be interesting.   


* * *

The low thump of music from inside Skylar's McMansion was giving Daria second thoughts. She'd felt braver at home, when the reality of the situation wasn't smacking her in the face. She'd be surrounded by other people, people that she knew, people that she would have to face again on Monday. Without the familiar comfort of her green blazer, she felt exposed. She crossed her arms in an attempt to shield herself from view, wanting nothing more than to return to her quiet seclusion. 

"You look hot", Kevin admitted shamelessly, amusement lighting in his eyes, "It's gonna be fine". 

A warm flush burned her cheeks as she fought against the smile that was threatening to break forth at any moment, "Let's just get this over with". 

Stepping inside was like crossing over enemy lines. There seemed to be people everywhere, many of which she was relieved to discover she didn't recognize. She never did well with crowds and being in a confined space with a mob of strangers was making her claustrophobic. The first thought that popped into her head was to turn back now while she still had the chance. Kevin might judge her for being a coward but he didn't know what it was like to be an outcast. She was startled when he snaked an arm around her waist and steered her away from a group of girls that she was about to barrel right into. 

"You okay?"

"Um", it was hard to form words when all she could focus on was the heat of his hand at her hip, "I, uh..."

Thankfully, she was spared by a rousing chorus of 'KEVIN! KEVIN! KEVIN!'. Standing at either end of a long table were several members of the Lawndale Lions. It was Miguel who broke away from the fold and rushed over to clap Kevin on the shoulder, narrowly avoiding spilling his drink all over Skylar's expensive looking carpet. 

"Hey! The Big Man's finally here! You're on my team". 

It was then that Daria took notice of the red plastic cups that were set up. She'd never played beer pong herself but she'd heard enough about it from Quinn to understand the gist. Kevin shook his head, even as Miguel tried to hand him the ping-pong ball. 

"I can't drink tonight; I'm driving". 

"Ah, shit, that sucks", he downed whatever was left in his own cup before he grinned, "More for me. See ya, man". 

She watched Miguel stumble his way back to his post as if she was observing some bizarre ritual. She'd seen people falling over themselves, drunk, at The Zon but there was something more real about it tonight. 

"You want a drink?"

She hoped he didn't mistake her wonderment for an invitation. She had limited experience with alcohol beyond a glass of champagne at New Years and a few sips of beer that she'd been cajoled into by Jane. Nothing about losing control of her mental faculties was appealing to her in the slightest. 

"You don't have to", he continued as he noticed her hesitation, "It's not like it's law". 

She supposed it would be a rite of passage: her first real drink at her first real high school party. One day, she'd look back on this and think about how dumb it all was. 

"I'll have a drink". 

"Cool. I'll be right back". 

She immediately regretted her hasty decision as soon as Kevin disappeared around a corner. She was left on her own to deal with the masses. She instinctively retreated into herself as she staked out the most secluded corner she could find. It wasn't much but it would have to do for the time being. She leaned back against the wall as she observed the room. This was the kind of environment that she could never navigate. It was so easy for everyone else and, yet, she couldn't crack the code. 

"Hey, Daria". 

Brittany's cheerful voice pulled her from her seclusion. Brittany was flanked by Lisa and Angie and she resisted the urge to compare them to the Three Stooges. 

"Hi, Brittany". 

She was in no mood to hash things out but Brittany wasn't going to be dissuaded so easily. Brittany sipped at her drink, the frost in her eyes enough to betray her true intentions. Daria was already on guard and she waited patiently for whatever Brittany was gearing up to say. 

"You're here with Kevin, right?"

It was a question she clearly already knew the answer to, "He's getting us drinks". 

"Hm", she perched along the wall next to her, "It's good that you trust him so much". 

"What?"

"Yeah", Angie piped in, "I mean, last party he went to, Brittany found him upstairs with Nikki". 

They were only trying to get under her skin. Brittany was desperate enough to try any trick in the book to get her way. She wasn't going to feed into her games. 

"Maybe he's changed", Brittany mused, "You never know". 

"So, like, how far have you two gone anyway?", of course, it was Lisa's turn to butt in, "Just curious". 

Brittany stifled a laugh, "Come on, Lisa. Don't be dumb". 

Her face started to heat up, both from anger and embarrassment. She told herself that she couldn't care less if they thought she was some prude but the comment hit its intended mark. 

"How would you know?", she asked Brittany, even if she knew it wasn't worth the trouble. 

"Oh, Daria, it's obvious. You two don't even kiss. I mean, if you want some pointers, all you have to do is ask". 

The crack was starting to grow but she refused to let them see her hurt, "Sorry, Brittany, I don't think you have anything else that I want". 

The dumbstruck look on her face wasn't enough to repair the damage. She turned away from the three of them and made for the nearest exit. She managed to navigate the living room and escape through a side door. She exhaled slowly as soon as the sliding glass door clicked into place, muffling the noise from inside. The cool breeze was a welcome relief and she relished in it as she sat down on one of the steps. Her eyes followed a scattering of dried leaves as she tried to find some peace. There was a calm in the stillness of the night that she appreciated. Nature didn't question her, it didn't expect something that she couldn't give. It just was. The sound of the door disturbed her yet again. 

"What are you doing out here?"

Kevin dropped down next to her before he handed over a plastic cup. She peered into the murky pink liquid before she took a tentative sip. It tasted like fruit punch...extremely sugary and tooth-rotting fruit punch. Whatever alcohol was lurking in its depths was well hidden. She took another sip as she tried to organize her thoughts. 

"I guess you weren't having sex in the bathroom, then". 

He let out a short laugh, "And why would I be doing that?"

"...You have before, haven't you?"

"Did someone say something to you?", he followed her gaze upwards, towards a few rustling leaves, "Let me guess, it was Brittany. 

She was starting to feel a warmth spreading to her fingertips and, when she looked down, she realized she was halfway finished with her drink, "And her two lackeys". 

"I won't lie to you. I've...done some stuff I'm not proud of...", he looked as though he wanted to stop talking but he kept on, "I don't always think with my brain". 

"Is that all guys care about?", she muttered. 

"Sometimes", he answered truthfully, "Not always". 

That wasn't doing anything to make her less self-conscious, "So, that's it then? You see a hot girl and damn everything else?" 

He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, "God, no. Okay...it's like this. Do I notice how good you look? Well, yeah, of course. But I'm not sitting here thinking about you naked or something. It's, like, appreciating the full package. Like, 'here's this beautiful girl that I can talk to for hours. That's really cool'". 

"Oh". 

It was all she could manage to say because she was too busy freaking out. She hadn't mentioned herself but she made it pretty damn obvious what she was searching for. No matter how much she pretended otherwise, it was nice to be noticed. She hid herself because she was so worried about being looked at for her body and not much else. She wanted her mind to snare people more than her looks but she was starting to learn that the two could coexist. 

"Does that make sense?"

"Yeah...". 

"Was that weird?", he let out a nervous chuckle, "That was probably really weird. I'm sorry. I don't want to freak you out or anything-"

"You think I'm beautiful?"

It was the kind of bold question that she'd never ask outright but it turned out all she needed was a bit of liquid courage. He looked at her as if she was nuts and she worried that maybe she'd gotten it all wrong. 

"You are. I don't know how you don't see that". 

There it was, the confirmation she so desperately wanted. Somehow, no matter how insane it was, he liked her. She finished off the rest of her drink before placing the cup on the ground. She felt completely relaxed for the first time all night, thanks to the help of a decent buzz. It was then that their eyes met and a rush of electricity rained through her. He reached out to her, sliding his fingers along her jaw as he brought her closer. She let her eyes fall shut and her breath hitched in her throat as she prepared for a kiss that never happened. 

"Yo, Kev!", it was Bruce who peeked his head out the door, ruining the moment, "You need to tell the story about how we got stuck on the interstate". 

Kevin lingered close to her for a moment longer before he pulled back. He climbed to his feet before he gave her a sympathetic smile. 

"Coming?"

"No", she sighed, "I'm going to stay here for a little bit".

"Okay. Come find me when you're ready". 

He walked back inside, leaving her to process what just happened. There were a million questions in her head and zero answers. All she knew for certain was that everything between them had changed.

 


	10. Part Ten

**Part Ten**  
  
Halloween for Kevin typically meant bloody slasher flicks and gorging himself on candy until he passed out from a sugar coma. This year, he was doing something markedly different. The warm smell of pot roast greeted him as he walked through the front door. It was a welcome comfort; he couldn't remember the last time he'd had a home cooked meal.   
  
"Here, let me take your coat".   
  
Daria, his impromptu house guest, shrugged off her jacket and he hung it up on the rack by the door. It wasn't often that he invited people over for dinner but it felt necessary. Ever since the party, he could sense that they were on the cusp of something serious. Not kissing her felt like a total loss at first but he slowly came to realize that it was for the best. He'd spent all that time talking about things being more nuanced and then he was immediately going in for a kiss? Bad move, no matter how he sliced it. It would've soured things before they even got started and he'd never forgive himself for that.   
  
"Someone looks happy".   
  
He trailed Daria's voice into the living room and he watched in agony as she peered over his third grade school picture. In it, he was sporting a bowl cut and a toothy grin - not his best look. It was one of those embarrassing snapshots that he hated but his mom couldn't get enough of. They peppered the halls, decorated every room, filled up pages and pages of photo albums. It was never-ending.   
  
"Don't look at that", he slipped the frame from her grasp before he turned it to face the wall, "Knowing it exists is bad enough".   
  
"Any other photos I should keep an eye out for?"  
  
"No wandering", he joked before he continued on to the kitchen.   
  
The counter was a mess of dishes and among all the clutter was his mom, standing at the stove stirring a pot of mashed potatoes. When he sprang the whole dinner guest situation on her, she was ticked off. It wasn't until he told her that it was his girlfriend and, no, it wasn't Brittany that her interest was piqued. He was never good at having relationship chats with her; this was the easiest solution.   
  
"You didn't mention this".   
  
He looked over his shoulder to find Daria at the fridge, inspecting a piece of paper. It was his latest history test which his mom decided to proudly display as if he was still in kindergarten. The grade wasn't remarkable, there was nothing impressive about a C minus, but Daria was marveling at it as if it was dipped in gold.   
  
"You weren't supposed to see that either".   
  
He reached out to snatch it from the fridge but she beat him to the punch, holding the paper away from his outstretched hand, "'A marked improvement. Keep it up'. DeMartino wrote this. On your paper. Do you know what that means?"  
  
"He's finally gone crazy?"  
  
She rolled her eyes, "He's your toughest critic and you managed to impress him. You should be proud of yourself".   
  
His grades were slowly climbing but he couldn't bring himself to celebrate yet. It would only take a few poor test scores to send him plummeting back to failing and that could happen at any moment. He swiftly took the paper from Daria's hand before she could react, placing it back on the fridge.   
  
"I had your help".   
  
"I didn't take the test for you".   
  
"Yeah, but-"  
  
"You must be Daria".   
  
His mom's cheery voice cut through their banter. There was a gravy stain on her sweater sleeve and her hair was a disaster but, despite how frazzled she looked, she was smiling. She wiped her hands on a clean dish towel before she pulled Daria into a tight embrace. Kevin winced as he watched on, irritation evident in the taut slope of Daria's shoulders. He should've prepped his mom on the whole touching thing but he didn't give himself enough time for the full rundown. To Daria's credit, she managed to withstand his mom's emotional assault, even patting her on the back for good measure.   
  
"Sorry, I'm a hugger", his mom laughed as she pulled back, "It's nice to finally meet you in person. That boy hardly tells me anything and then, boom, he wants me to meet his new girlfriend".   
  
Daria shot him a reproachful look which he could only return with a sheepish smile, "I hope I'm not intruding".  
  
"Oh, of course not! I'm glad to have you. Kev, why don't you set the table?"  
  
He was nervous about leaving the two of them alone but he prayed that nothing would go wrong in the few minutes it took him to set-up. He listened to their quiet voices as he grabbed the plates and glasses from the cabinet. None of them went together. His dad liked to pick up a lot of their houseware secondhand and so everything was mismatched. He thought about him while he set everything out, patently avoiding his chair. It was just a seat, like the others, but it still carried his essence. It seemed sacred, untouchable, and so he did his best to preserve its integrity.   
  
"Watch out".   
  
He stepped back just before his mom set a steaming platter of food in the center of the table. He went back to grab the silverware and, when he returned, they were both sitting down. He took his own seat across from Daria before he did the honors of slicing the pot roast.   
  
"Everything looks great, Mrs. Thompson".   
  
"It's been a long time since I got to cook a big meal".   
  
Kevin had no shame in filling his plate with food, the angry grumbling in his stomach too much to ignore. Daria and his mom weren't quite so ravenous. A few minutes passed where everyone was focused on eating before his mom finally broke the ice.   
  
"So, Daria, how'd you get this one out of his cave?"  
  
"Ma", he knew that tonight was going to be embarrassing but he didn't think it would start so soon, "Really?"  
  
She shrugged as she skewered a roasted carrot with her fork, "I want to know. Maybe I've been doing things all wrong".   
  
"Oh, you know, I gave him a helpful nudge", Daria cast him a knowing glance before she took a spoonful of potatoes, "Sometimes, people need that".   
  
"However you did it, I'm glad to see him in such a good mood. I've heard that you've been helping him with his schoolwork too?"  
  
"We've been studying. When he's been willing to".   
  
"I've gotten better", he deserved it but he couldn't go down without a fight, "Right?"  
  
"Lately".   
  
He slid another helping of beef onto his plate, "That's not a no".   
  
"He gets his work ethic from me", his mom added, "I was never good at school. Slacked off all the time. I'm glad Kev's got someone to keep him on the straight and narrow".   
  
"You can count on me".   
  
Kevin didn't have any expectations going into the evening but he was glad things were going well. Maybe this would be a new start for the both of them.  
  


* * *

"Need some help?"  
  
Kevin was scrubbing plates at the sink, up to his elbows in suds, and a growing pile of clean dishes were starting to take over. Daria didn't wait for an answer as she maneuvered around him to pick up the dish towel waiting on the counter. She grabbed the nearest glass and started drying. The night had gone off without a hitch, much to her delight. An apple pie had followed dinner and conversation easily flowed from one subject to the next. She was stuffed and she'd talked more than she had in ages but she felt content. Charlene was an interesting woman, talkative and boisterous at times but clearly warm-hearted. Kevin's looks were all his dad's but it was clear where he got his caring nature from.   
  
"Thanks for this", his voice was a low whisper, fitting considering the tranquility that had fallen over the room, "It's been awhile since I've seen her like that".   
  
She placed down the cup and grabbed a plate, "Thanks for inviting me. I've never done the whole family dinner thing before. Guess I can check that off the list".   
  
"Guess so", he chuckled, "...Wish my dad could've been here..."  
  
She followed his lingering gaze towards the head of the table, it's emptiness an ever-present reminder that someone was missing. Kevin was strong-willed and tough, definitely not the kind of guy to wallow in his misery. It was admirable but, ultimately, it was draining him. He hadn't spoken about his father since that first night and she could see the toll it was taking on him from the tiredness in his eyes to the slope of his shoulders. She wanted to shake him sometimes but a firm hand wasn't going to help him. He needed patience.   
  
"Do you think he would've liked me?"  
  
"....Probably not", he finally admitted as he inspected a spoon for cleanliness, "My dad was a real superficial guy. He liked what he liked and damn everyone else".   
  
"He must've loved Brittany".   
  
"Oh yeah", he rolled his eyes as he wiped some stray crumbs from the counter, "The thing is, my mom couldn't stand her. She'd always go on and on about how she was gonna ruin my life someday. It was one of the few things they argued about".   
  
She stacked the last plate on top of the towering pile, "It still would've been nice to know him".   
  
"Yeah. Who knows? Maybe you would've grown on him".   
  
"...Kevin?"  
  
He set down the sponge before he met her gaze, "Yeah?"  
  
"You're going to have to let it out sometime. You keep everything packed down and it'll eventually overflow", she slowly twisted the towel in her hands, "Trust me, I'm speaking from experience".   
  
She didn't wear her heart on her sleeve and she prided herself on being levelheaded and rational but some situations didn't call for cool contemplation. Death was one of them. He looked at her, then at the tiled floor, then back at her again. She couldn't figure out if he was trying to work up the nerve to say something or if he was trying to keep it all in. He finally settled on lightly prying the towel from her hands, letting his fingers linger on her palm.   
  
"...I know....I meant what I said, when I told you that you're the first person I've talked to about him", he exhaled slowly, "I want to talk to my mom, she wants me to, but it's so hard-".  
  
"You don't have to explain it; just talk when you're ready".   
  
This time, she made the first move as she leaned in to him. There was no tension freezing her muscles, despite the butterflies wreaking havoc in her stomach. He reached up to cradle her face, carefully, as if he was afraid he'd break her. The kiss was tentative at first but it slowly built into a curious exploration. She reached for the open halves of his flannel, pulling him close but not too close. She could feel the heat of his body hovering mere inches away but she was too scared to actually touch him. This was Kevin, arguably the most popular guy in school. It shouldn't have been possible for them to fit together so we'll and yet...the barest hint of tongue slid along her bottom lip and a groan tore from her throat.   
  
The sound was enough to make heat creep up the back of her neck. She expected Kevin to laugh at her. This was her first kiss but he was world's more experienced. Surely, that was a sign that this was a mistake. Instead, it seemed to spur him further as he closed his arms around her and leaned her against the counter. She hesitantly trailed her fingers up the plane of his back, into his hair, and a smirk tugged at the corners of her mouth as a muffled sigh escaped his lips. He fumbled for her hips, hands burning fire as they slid over her sweater. It was at that moment that the trill of the phone forced them apart.   
  
"I should probably get home", she blurted out, her mind a jumbled mess.   
  
"Yeah, right", he reluctantly moved away from her just before his mom entered the room.   
  
She barely paid attention to where her feet were headed as she followed him out the front door. Did that really just happen? She thought about the 'what now?' that was lingering between them as she buckled her seatbelt. A fake boyfriend was one thing but a real, honest-to-god relationship? That was enough to petrify her. Would there be dates? Movie nights? Anniversaries? She had no earthly idea how any of that was supposed to work.   
They made it to her house promptly at 10:00. She had no set curfew but she knew it was best not to linger for too long; there was no telling what kind of uncomfortable scenarios her parents would concoct. The kiss was still playing in her head on a continuous loop but she was no closer to figuring out this new dynamic than when they left. Kevin was idly drumming his fingers against the steering wheel and she knew that he was waiting for her word.   
  
"What happens next?", she finally asked.   
  
"What do you want to happen?".   
  
It was an entirely unhelpful question. She didn't know what she wanted, all she knew was that she needed some kind of guide, some formula to follow. The rules were null and void now so what did that leave them?  
  
"I wasn't supposed to kiss you", she whispered as she looked towards the darkened street, "kissing...complicates things".   
  
"Are you upset that we did?"  
  
"No, that was...fine", she nervously bit her lip, "I just...don't want things to change. I've seen plenty of relationships implode and I don't want all that pressure".   
  
"So, we don't need to change", he shrugged, "We can keep things simple".   
  
"How?"  
  
"I know I like you and you like me. So, we keep hanging out and see where things go. No pressure".   
  
It was a plan, even if it wasn't etched in stone, and that was enough for her to latch onto. There was nothing normal about any of it but she wasn't an ordinary kind of person.   
  
"Okay. I can do that", she paused as she grabbed the door handle, "Thank you".  
  
She hopped out of the car and waved him off, an earnest smile on her face. It was a good night.


	11. Part Eleven

**Part Eleven**

Birthdays were never Daria’s cup of tea, especially her own. Even when she was a kid, all she wanted was to be left alone. Unfortunately, that never happened. Her parents would kill themselves trying to plan some elaborate party which only ever made her feel awkward and uncomfortable. Nobody would show up (save for some of Quinn’s friends) and she’d spend the entire time counting down the minutes until everyone went home. As she got older, birthdays held even less appeal. Last year, she’d begged Jane off of taking her to a Mystik Spiral show two towns over. It had nothing to do with her or the guys; she simply wanted to brood in peace. She wouldn’t be getting that satisfaction this year. 

The broad grin on Kevin’s face was enough to soften her mood, if only a bit. She’d told him a hundred times that she didn’t want to celebrate but, as usual, he refused to let her stew in her feelings. He’d dragged her out of the house with no word on where they were going. She steeled herself for some sort of surprise party but they ended up at his house. She cautiously followed him through the front door, expecting people to jump out at any moment, but the house was quiet. 

“I was gonna get you balloons but I figured that’s not your thing”, he made his way into the kitchen and she followed after him, still in shock. 

“Any minute now, a party clown’s going to show up at the door”. 

He chuckled, “I could get Upchuck to do some magic tricks”. 

“I'd rather take my chances with the clown". 

Sitting on the table was a simple chocolate cake, lopsided and poorly frosted in buttercream icing. There were a few candles haphazardly jutting out of the top, placed without any rhyme or reason. Kevin wasn't a baker by any stretch of the imagination so she couldn't help but stare at what was both hilarious and kind of charming. It dawned on her that he'd taken the time, no matter how frustrating, to make her a birthday cake. 

“I didn’t have seventeen candles but-“, he shrugged as he rummaged through the drawers in search of matches, "It's something". 

“Wouldn’t want to burn the house down”, she hesitated for a second, suddenly nervous about what to say next, “Um…you didn’t have to make me anything”. 

"I wanted to". 

She watched on as he lit the candles and the small flames danced on cheerily. She couldn't remember the last time she'd done this; it felt like centuries ago. Kevin looked on expectantly, more excited about all of this than she was.

"No singing", she warned before she leaned forward and blew out the candles. 

She knew that she was supposed to make a wish but all she could think about was how quickly she wanted the day to be over and done with. If there was some magic button to make that happen then she willed the birthday gods to do their job. Kevin gathered up two plates and set a healthy portion of cake on each one. She briefly inspected the dessert before she dug in, hoping that it wouldn't be bad enough to kill her. Despite how much of an eyesore the cake was, it didn't taste half bad. She ate in silence, taking great care to focus her attention on her food and not on the situation at hand. Why had he gone through the trouble? 

"What'd you wish for?"

"For the day to be over", she grumbled as she pressed a cake crumb between her fingers. 

"Why do you hate your birthday so much? It's like being king for a day, you know? You get cake, presents-"

"It's not that". 

It was impossible to explain the overwhelming feeling of dread that she had whenever November 10th rolled around. It wasn't some cosmic superstition, like fearing death or old age, but something much more familiar. It was knowing that, even on a day supposedly all about her, she wasn't allowed to be. 

"I don't want all the glitz and glamour. It's cheesy, fake. Everyone does it because they feel obligated to. There's nothing special about it. It's just another day", she slid aside her empty plate, "Only, today, I get to be reminded of how weird I am for feeling that way". 

There it was, the gnarled ugly truth. She hated her birthday because it was one more stupid social code that she didn't understand. Her sour mood upset her family, it upset Jane, and that only made her want to disappear even more. If she couldn't even manage a simple birthday, what did that mean for everything else? The way Kevin was looking at her made her think that she'd upset him too. 

"...People do it because they care. Nobody should be alone on their birthday", he continued before she could interrupt, "Yeah, even you. I know you hate parties; that's why I didn't plan one. But I couldn't just not do something". 

"Does that mean there's more?"

"Maybe one more thing". 

He was heading down the hall before she could protest further. She sat in a silence that wasn't so comfortable anymore, suddenly feeling unsettled. She was in constant battle with herself, never sure whether she should step out of her shell or stay huddled, safe, inside. Kevin had a way of coaxing her out, never prying but always forcing her to take a good, hard look at herself. 

“It’s not much but I remembered you said you liked reading this when you were little”. 

Kevin returned, handing her a small present. It was unassuming, wrapped in simple black paper with no bow or ribbon. She carefully peeled off the paper until she'd revealed a worn but intact copy of Black Beauty. It was the very same gift her parents had given her years ago on her eighth birthday. That day was another disastrous one, with a party that only two of her classmates bothered to show up to. The one high point had been that book. She'd read it over and over again, cover to cover, until the binding started to wear out. She'd held onto it through the years, cherishing it as one would a beloved teddy bear. Somehow, she'd lost it during the move and she still hadn't forgiven herself for it. It was a boring story that she barely even remembered telling Kevin. But he'd listened. 

“…I know, it’s kinda lame”, he nervously ran a hand through his hair, “I-“

"This book means a lot to me. I...don't usually get presents that are this thoughtful". 

Relief washed over his face, "I figured you could use a new copy". 

“I really appreciate it. Thank you". 

She wasn't the best at the whole romance thing and she avoided sappiness at all costs but even she had her moments. She stood to give him a light peck on the lips and she couldn't help but laugh at the dopey grin on his face. 

"There is a Sick, Sad World special on right now. Unless you'd rather go home". 

The thought of tucking herself away in bed was hard to ward away...but, for once, she decided she could stand to be away from home. 

"Sure, that sounds good". 

As far as birthday's went, this one was worth the effort.   


* * *

School assemblies were always boring, even if they were a guaranteed ticket out of class. Kevin usually suffered in silence but, today, there was something else on the agenda. He easily left the herd of students being shuttled into the auditorium as he backtracked and went in the opposite direction. Lawndale High was unique in the fact that there was access to the roof. It was supposed to be strictly limited to maintenance workers but most everyone knew about the faulty lock on the door. Kevin took the steps two at a time, less eager to get to the roof than he was to put an end to this whole situation. 

He had a genuine connection with Daria that he wanted to see grow into something more. That couldn't happen when he was still carrying the dead weight of his last relationship. He prepared himself with a deep breath before he pushed open the heavy door. Brittany was already up there, waiting near the storage shed. 

“Thanks for meeting me”. 

He buried his hands in the pocket of his sweatshirt as a chill wind sent goosebumps down his arms. He didn't want to waste any more time chatting than he had to and the temperature was a pretty good deterrent. 

"What do you want?"

He knew Brittany like the back of his hand; this was no random idea that popped into her head. She'd probably been plotting it for weeks, devising the best strategy to get him on his own. He didn't think she was so bold as to try anything at school but he had no idea what to expect anymore. 

"I just want to talk". 

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" 

There was no way she'd roped him into this just for a simple talk. If that was all she wanted, they could've squashed this ages ago. He tried to look past the pained look in her eyes but the kind part of him was having a tough time. 

“Is there some rule that says we can’t be friends? Are you not allowed to talk to me anymore?”

"No, Britt", he frowned, "But you don't want to be friends and we can't keep doing this. It's not working". 

"I miss you, okay?", she turned away from him, focusing her attention on the ground, "Don't you miss me too?" 

He did and he didn't. He missed what he thought they had, the simplicity of it. Everything was black and white, there was no gray area. No room for change...or growth. Their relationship died a long time ago and they were ignoring the truth. 

"What do you want me to do? Forget all about everything and take you back? I'm not doing that anymore". 

In the past, he would've taken her back without question but he was glad to say that was the furthest thing from his mind. He'd finally found the strength to forge a new path, even if it didn't make sense to anyone else. 

"I messed up, I'll admit that, but...", she let out a frustrated sigh, "Can't we start over?" 

"I'm not doing this. Tell me what you really want". 

“I want you to stop acting like you don't even know me anymore! You won't even look at me!" 

He let out a laugh but it was far from cheerful, "You were the one that stopped talking to me first. I just returned the favor". 

“You're so...", her ears were starting to turn bright red, which he knew was from anger and not the cold, "I love you, you asshole". 

It wasn't the first time he'd heard those three words from her but it was the first time she'd sounded so certain. There was a firmness in her voice, a sharpness in her eyes, that forced him to pay attention. 

“…What?”

“I love you! And I was scared, okay? I didn’t know what to do about your dad or about how messed up you were so I just ran. It was stupid but I…I don’t know. I just…”

This was the most honesty he'd gotten out of her in months. After all the games and tricks, she was finally being real. He was floored, completely thrown for a loop. He was happy that she'd dropped the act but he didn't know what to do with the information. Part of him was still angry, part of him wanted to forgive her. He had no idea what the 'right' thing to do was. 

“Kevin, I-“

The squeak of a door hinge made him tune out the last half of whatever she'd said. They weren't alone. He turned his head in time to see someone letting the door swing shut. It didn't matter how brief the sight was, he'd always recognize that shade of auburn hair. Of all the times for her to show up. He swore before he made his way back downstairs, completely forgetting about Brittany. This was a lot more important right now. He was desperate to catch up with her before she jumped to the wrong conclusion. There was nothing going on and he needed to let her know before...

He rushed into a deserted hallway. Wherever she'd disappeared to, he had no clue.   


* * *

Love wasn't a part of her vocabulary. 

Daria acknowledged that it probably existed, her parents had held it together for this long for a reason, but it wasn't something she fantasized about. It was something almost mystical that would either happen for her or not. She didn't base her life's value on whether or not she'd meet her soulmate and she wouldn't dissolve into a puddle of tears if she ended up on her own in the future. Love, to her, was nothing more than a word. She had no idea that heartbreak could throw it all into a startling new perspective. 

She'd listened to their little tryst in cold silence, feeling like time had slowed to a crawl. Brittany's admission was one thing but Kevin's hesitation was what sent a coil of dread to knot her stomach. Was she really nothing more than a pawn? Was he pretending? The questions circled her like vultures until she couldn't take it anymore; she had to go. 

She was blind in her fury, so blind that she smacked right into someone as soon as she rushed through the door. She reached up to fix her glasses in time to see Jane picking up the folder she'd clumsily knocked from her hands. There were papers scattered all over the hall and she wasted no time helping to collect them all. Her fingers shook as she scrambled to pick up as much as possible, her nerves entirely shot. 

"A 'hello' would've worked too". 

She froze for long enough to catch the mischievous glint in Jane's eyes. It was familiar, comforting, and she nearly forgot that they hadn't spoken a word to each other in months. 

"I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention". 

She was sorry for a lot of other things too but there was no time to unpack that box. She handed over the pages and tried to get a hold of herself while Jane placed them back into their folder. 

"Looked like you saw a ghost". 

A ghost would've been preferable to what she'd actually witnessed. She shrugged before she crossed her arms, wanting nothing more than to shield herself from the world. 

“...How are you?”

"Okay, I guess. How are you?"

“Okay. I guess”. 

Jane smiled, a genuine grin, but the bell rang out before anything more could be said. They both stood there, hesitating, while people started filing into the hall. It was Jane that finally broke the tension. 

“Do you wanna finish this talk at my place?””

* * *

Kevin waited in the deserted parking lot for fifteen minutes, numbness settling over him like a warm blanket. He felt worse with each passing moment but he couldn’t make himself leave. Some dumb part of his brain still held onto a shred of hope that Daria would be willing to hear him out. 

All it took was one stupid mistake to send everything crashing down. She had every right to be pissed at him; he was pissed at himself. Talking to Brittany was the worst idea he'd had in ages. There was nothing good that could come from it. Him and Daria were doing so well and he'd ruined all of it. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel before he pulled out of the parking lot and headed down the street. He had one destination in mind. 

The Morgendorffer driveway was empty, allowing him to park his Jeep without issue. He hopped out of the car and hurried to ring the doorbell, desperate to do anything to fix this. He rang it three more times before someone finally came to the door. 

“I already told you-“, Quinn stopped once she realized it was him, “Oh. Hi, Kevin”. 

She was clutching the cordless phone against her shoulder, clearly not happy about being disturbed. He shifted his gaze to the area just beyond her but there was no sign of anyone else. 

“Is Daria home?”

“I don’t think so. Is that all?”

Of course, she wouldn’t cooperate with him, “You don’t know? Can’t you go check?”

“I’m on the phone. Just come back later or something”. 

“It’s kind of important. I really need to talk to her”. 

“Wish I could help but I’ve gotta go”. 

She closed the door in his face before he could say anything more. He had no other choice but to head home.


	12. Part Twelve

**Part Twelve**

Casa Lane hadn’t changed one bit. With everything else in her life going haywire, it was nice to know that some things stayed consistent. The discordant sounds of a Mystik Spiral practice session were filtering out from the basement, forcing the pair to retreat upstairs. Jane's room was similarly unchanged, save for a few new sculptures and paintings. Daria always felt like it was her second sanctuary, a safe haven when her own house was compromised. She breathed a sigh of relief as she lied down on Jane's bed, sinking into the worn mattress as she had hundreds of times before. She took a few minutes to enjoy the normalcy of it, reveling in the small bit of mental freedom. Of course, that couldn't last forever. 

"Alright, kid", Jane put on a crappy Brooklyn accent as she scrutinized the latest painting in progress, "I want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth". 

She could start at the beginning, like any half-decent storyteller, but there were other demons weighing on her that were demanding to be addressed. It wasn't as easy as pouring out her feelings and having a good cry; that wasn't how she operated. She needed to go piece by piece, carefully dissect her thoughts as if she was preparing for a dissertation. 

"You'll have to be more specific". 

"Okay, then. What happened on the roof?"

That made it sound so much more haunting than it actually was. What happened today was painful but maybe inevitable. Could a relationship built on a lie really ever survive? There was also the elephant in the room, pressing and inescapable. Was she too gullible to see his true intentions? She'd been blind before, it could easily happen again. Kevin could've been the mastermind from the beginning, stringing her along on false pretenses all as a clever ploy. It seemed far-fetched but how much could she really know about him in a few short months? All those late-night talks, the connections, maybe they were nothing more than lies. She was a fool. 

"...Daria? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine", she turned her gaze towards the ceiling, allowing herself to get lost in the blank space, "Kevin and I weren't really dating. It was all staged". 

Saying it out loud was like twisting the knife. There was something truly depressing about her first kiss being fake. 

Jane daubed her paintbrush across her canvas, creating a series of irregular circles, "Why would you do that?"

"To convince you that I didn't like Tom". 

It all circled back to that. It was funny now, how something so monumental could become so insignificant. Liking Tom was the catalyst to everything else but the feelings themselves turned out to be fleeting. She waited for the outrage, the contempt. She might even be kicked out. Instead, Jane continued to paint in her measured way, taken by whatever creative genius had seized her this time. 

"The truth finally revealed. You have a crush on young master Sloane". 

"Had. Emphasis on the past tense". 

"What changed?"

She inhaled sharply, gearing up to admit probably the most mortifying truth about herself. She was used to being open with Jane but it was still a struggle when it came to admitting her faults. 

"I...enjoyed the attention-"

"You? Do something for the male gaze?", Jane scoffed, "Next, you'll be telling me you got a piercing to make a guy notice you". 

She couldn't help the flush of heat that crept up her face, "Don't make this any harder for me. I may have been putting blinders on and there's a possibility that I hid the truth to save face". 

"Sounds plausible". 

She dropped her paintbrush into a mug of water before she flopped down next to her. They were close enough to bump shoulders which would normally be an invasion of her protective bubble but, at the moment, it was a welcome intrusion. It never ceased to amaze her how well Jane understood her, even without words. 

"I'm sorry", she finally said after a lengthy stretch of time, "For everything. I should've been honest with you from the beginning". 

"I'm sorry too. I acted like a total bitch to you. I shouldn't have pushed you away like that". 

"...We don't have to hug now, do we?"

Jane stifled a laugh, "That would be a breach in contract. It's weird but I'm actually kinda glad you liked Tom". 

"What?"

"It forced me to see that we were never going to work out. He's from his universe and it's not one that I care to visit. After the parade, I called it off. It was time to move on to greener pastures. Or something". 

She nodded her understanding, "Hm, right". 

Jane wasn't the only one that had taken a foray into unknown territory. If this was all still a contract then she'd fulfilled her obligations. They'd both gotten what they wanted now so there was nothing more to be gained. Kevin may have hurt her in the process but she wouldn't let him be the one to call things off. 

"Okay, Morgendorffer, that look means you're up to something". 

"I was just thinking that it's about time things went back to normal". 

Jane raised an eyebrow, "As in breaking up with Kevin?"

The look on her face was enough to give her pause, "What?"

"Since we're having this heart-to-heart....I don't think that's a good idea". 

"And why would you say that?"

"Because", she smiled, "I've never seen you actually like someone before. I know we haven't talked in forever but you can't fool me. I see the way you look at him. I guess you do have a heart somewhere deep down". 

"Screw you", she mumbled, "I've already made up my mind". 

Whether she liked him or not didn't matter anymore. All she cared about was forgetting that any of this ever happened. Jane rolled out of bed first, walking over to pick up a VHS tape from her cluttered desk.

"I know what will cheer you up:  _Sorority House Massacre_! I got it on clearance from that video store downtown". 

Daria felt a little pressure lift from her shoulders as she took in the crappy cover art, "Throw in a meat lovers pizza and you've got yourself a deal". 

"Alright. I'll go scrounge up some extra cash from the band". 

She waited until Jane left the room before she settled back into her spot. After spending so much time apart, she feared that they’d never be able to mend the rift between them. Things weren't perfect...but this was a start. 

* * *

“Kevin! Daria’s on the phone!”

He scrambled to switch off his stereo, abandoning his workout routine as he bolted upstairs. He ignored the curious look his mom was throwing him as he took the phone from her outstretched hand and disappeared inside his room. He'd spent the past few hours going over exactly what he would say to her, knowing that he had a limited window to explain himself. Daria wouldn't be placated by anything but the truth and he was prepared to give her just that. 

"Hello?"

"Hi". 

He knew it was best to get right into it, "Daria, I wanted to-"

"I think it's time we ended this". 

It wasn't forceful but collected, as if she was discussing something as mild as the weather. He was expecting resistance, maybe even pushback, but not this. 

“Wait a minute-"

"It's done. You got what you wanted". 

It was as if they were two strangers, separated by thousands of miles. He didn't expect things to go so wrong, so fast.

"There was nothing going on. There IS nothing going on. I was trying to-"

She exhaled sharply, the first inkling of how she was really feeling, “You can stop pretending now. I have to admit, you’re a great actor. You even had me fooled for a bit”. 

“Please, let me-"

“It was a pleasure doing business with you”. 

At that, the line went dead. He resisted the urge to throw the phone to the ground, even if it was tempting. He would've taken her screaming at him over such cold detachment. He knew she was only trying to protect herself but the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. He wanted to call back but he knew she wouldn't answer. 

He sat for a few more minutes before he got up and grabbed his car keys from his dresser. If there was ever a time for a drive, it was now. 

* * *

Kevin wasn’t at school on Monday. 

It was the first thought that popped into Daria's head when she and Jane walked past his usual parking space. She managed to keep up with their banter but, deep down, she was crushed. There was no victory in dumping him, no retribution, only the promise of loneliness. All she could think about was how much of a loss it was. 

"Are you okay?"

She wasn't, not in the slightest. She gave a half-hearted shrug as she pitifully tried to open her locker, her fingers struggling to work out the combination. Maybe it was a good thing that he wasn't around. Seeing him in person would only be ten times worse. 

"Daria".

She kept replaying that phone call, over and over again, hating herself more with each revisit. She didn't let him talk because she was too afraid of what he might say. It was one thing to feel tricked; it was another to be told directly. But he'd sounded so defeated, so bruised...

"Okay", Jane lightly pried her hand away from the lock before she started steering her towards the bathroom, "Let's go check on your lack of makeup". 

"What are you doing?"

Jane took extra care to check that each stall was empty before she turned back to look at her, "Either your allergies are acting up or..."

"Or what?!"

"You're crying". 

She hastily reached up to wipe her cheek, which was decidedly wet, "I'm not crying". 

“So it is allergies. Right....I told you not to do it”.

"And I already told you-". 

"Why'd you break up with him really?"

"...I saw him talking to Brittany. They seemed pretty chummy". 

"You can't just give up". 

She scowled before she turned to splash her face with cold water, "Sorry to disappoint but there won't be any catfights". 

She wasn't going to fight over a guy...even if it was a guy that she really cared about. If Brittany was so eager to sink her claws into him then she could have him back. She took one final look at her reflection before she gestured towards the door. 

"Can we go now?"

Jane held up her hands in surrender, "Fine. Lead the way".   


* * *

Awards Night marked the official end of football season. It was a good run despite the rocky start. The team managed to win the last three games which meant their status as #1 team in the district was untouched. Kevin would usually be celebrating but not even a shiny new MVP trophy could brighten his somber mood. He'd managed to skip school yesterday, feigning a stomachache, but his mom cottoned on to the truth. It was a cowardly move anyway but even he needed a day to nurse his wounds. He'd been forced to school this morning, where he floated through classes and tried his best to look normal. He'd been doing that a lot this year. He sighed as he tugged on his uncomfortable striped tie, eager for Coach Gibson to stop talking so that he could finally go home. 

“Kevin". 

His mom was shooting him a stern look but her voice was calm. It wasn't like him to skip school, no matter how much he hated it, and he knew she was looking for an explanation. He could pretend it was to avoid a test but there was no use lying to her. He never discussed his relationship woes with her but he guessed now wasn't a bad time to start. 

“…Daria broke up with me”. 

"I figured something was up", she gave him a sympathetic smile, "Well, what happened?" 

“I did something dumb". 

He knew it was best not to mention Brittany by name. His mom didn't like her to begin with, he tried not to give her any more reasons to add to the list. She gave him an odd look and, before he could begin to explain, she was starting up. 

"I know you're gonna do what you want, no matter what I say, but you can't go sleeping with every girl that smiles at you-"

"Ma!", he was glad they were out of earshot of most people, "That didn't happen. Forget it, it doesn't matter". 

This was pointless anyway. She wouldn't be able to help him. As much as he loved his mom, they just didn't have the same connection that he'd had with his dad. He felt like he could trust him with anything, like his dad could fix any problem. Right now, he'd be giving him some crazy suggestion on how to win Daria back or pretending to have some sage advice that was really just utter nonsense...but it would make him feel better and that's all he really needed right now. 

"...Your dad and I had our fair share of problems. I was usually the one starting them". 

"You did?", he had no idea, "You two never fought". 

She laughed, "I'm glad you think that. We were happy, Kev, but we were also young and you were a lot of responsibility. We didn't always know what to do or how to talk to each other. My point is, you're gonna make mistakes but you have to learn from them". 

He couldn't help but stare, feeling like he was seeing a whole new side to her, "...I'm sorry, Ma. That I never talk to you". 

"No, I'm sorry. I always let your dad handle things. I never thought to...", she sighed, "We'll get there". 

It seemed like a long shot but he was willing to give it a try. He didn't have anything else to lose.


	13. Part Thirteen

**Part Thirteen**

Heavy clouds loomed overhead, an ominous start to an already unusual day. Kevin cast a wary glance skyward before he hoisted his duffel bag into the back of his Jeep. He’d packed light, nothing more than some spare clothes, a few snacks, and his Walkman. If a storm was brewing, his wilderness survival skills would definitely be put to the test. He climbed into the car and made his way towards school. An overnight hike sounded like a bad idea on its own but he needed a distraction. 

It had been two weeks since Daria broke up with him which was two weeks he had to agonize over his own stupidity. He was heeding his mom’s advice and giving her space but, the more time passed, the more he worried she’d never speak to him again. She was so stubborn at times and that stubbornness was like a brick wall. He tried to put the thoughts out of his head as he parked his car. There were already a few people scattered about the sidewalk and the bus was idling in the front, prepared to take them all to some hill in Eagleton. It would be a good two-hour drive through winding roads which, he hoped, would be refreshing. 

He shouldered his bag before he went to wait with everyone else. Mack and Jodie were there, the same exhausted looks on their faces as everyone else. He took a step towards them before he noticed Brittany heading in their direction. So much for that. 

“You know, I really should have thought this through better”.

The familiar monotone made him chance a look over his shoulder. Daria was the last person he expected to sign-up for this but there she was. Jane was at her side, looking every bit as miserable as Daria sounded. Clearly, this wasn’t a choice on either of their parts. He was glad to see her but he was also nervous as hell. He was planning on keeping to himself and now that plan was thrown all out of whack. 

Daria spotted him as she neared the bus and, for a split second, he could see the turmoil in her eyes before her impassive gaze was back in place. Jane gave him a half-hearted wave which earned her a dark glare from Daria. At least one person didn’t hate his guts.

“Good morning, students. Please be so gracious as to haul your milk-fed buttocks onto the bus”.

DeMartino’s gruff voice was their cue to move. He was one of the first on the bus which gave him the perfect opportunity to pick out a decent seat. He chose one towards the back of the bus, away from the teachers and most other people who might bother him. He was wrangling his CD player from his bag when he sensed someone standing there. He looked up to find Brittany, bundled up in her own Lawndale letterman jacket. She was wearing a coy smile that he knew spelled trouble. He knew today was going to be terrible. 

“Is this seat taken?”

“Uh…”

He looked around for any source of help and he ended up catching Daria as she was heading up the aisle. She spared him a lingering glance before she hunched her shoulders and moved on.  _Damn it_.

“I guess not”, she said cheerfully before she plopped down, “This is going to be so much fun!”

He contemplated getting off the bus but then they were moving, dashing aside any chance he had of escape. It was going to be a long ride. 

* * *

The Eagleton Lodge wasn’t a five-star hotel by any stretch of the imagination but it was at least furnished and it had a functioning heating system. Daria eagerly shed her bulky coat, still shivering from the bitter cold that had plagued the group the entire walk. She knew the hike was going to be terrible but the dropping temperature was an added layer of torture. She cursed both her mom and her own willingness to take bribes so easily as she tried to flex some warmth back into her fingers. 

“How long before someone burns the place down?”

She looked over as Jane dropped her bag near the foot of a bed. Anyone proactive had staked their claim to a decent room early while everyone else busied themselves checking out the meager amenities. She and Jane managed to find a corner room on the second floor with a great view of the back of the lodge. Jane was eager to observe their classmates in the wild while she was just glad to have some decent natural light for reading. 

“Probably within the hour. Let’s hope these beds are flame retardant”. 

She kicked off her boots before she crawled under the covers. The mattress was lumpy but the sheets were at least comfortable. Jane shook her head as she pulled her sketchbook out of her bag. 

“Glad to see you’ve got a full itinerary”. 

“I said I would go on the trip; I never said I would enjoy myself”. 

She was glad to have Jane’s company but that did nothing to stop her racing thoughts. Even though she’d been avoiding Kevin at school, that didn’t mean she’d forgotten about him. Truthfully, he crossed her mind several hundred times a day. If she wasn’t thinking about some bad joke he’d told her or remembering one of his crazy stories, she was wondering what he was doing or how he was feeling. It was driving her nuts. 

“That’s the spirit”. 

“Wake me up when it’s time to go home”.   


* * *

The snow had gone from a light flurry to a full blizzard in the span of a few minutes. Kevin watched the heavy flakes blur past his face while he pushed through the blinding wind. He thought he’d spend the day building snowmen or maybe having a snowball fight but, no, he had to be sent out on a search party. He wasn’t sure where Ms. Li and Mr. O’Neill were or if they’d even cross paths but even the driving cold was better than being trapped inside with Brittany. 

She’d stuck to him like a leech ever since they started hiking and he had no hope of escape. If she was trying to wear down his sanity, she was doing a pretty good job. 

“This is pointless”, Mack’s dejected voice came from somewhere near his left shoulder but he couldn’t exactly see, “We’re gonna end up freezing to death out here and then what?”

“Should we turn back around?”

“No, we should at least circle this way. So, I guess you and Brittany are back together?”

“No, we’re not”. 

The last thing he needed was that rumor starting up. Brittany could cry and scream and yell until her face turned blue and he wasn’t going to take her back. Getting that through her head was the hang-up. 

“I guess you and Daria aren’t either?”

“…No”. 

“The infamous Kevin Thompson, single? Never thought I’d see that happen”. 

He buried his hands deeper into the pockets of his coat, trying to hold onto what little bit of warmth he could, “Yeah, me neither. I really fucked it up this time”. 

“And you think hanging around Brittany is going to help?”

“Of course not”. 

Mack briefly turned towards him, “Then you need to cut the chord. Brittany…means well but she’s never going to quit until you make it clear that you’re not interested”. 

“I thought I did”, he mumbled, “I mean…well…I guess not…”

“Look, Kevin, I know you’re a good guy and you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But you’re going to have to be firm about this”. 

Mack was the voice of reason, as always, and he knew that he needed to listen. Nothing was going to change if he didn’t sit Brittany down and tell her how he really felt. It wouldn’t be easy, she was great at blocking out what she didn’t want to hear, but he’d have to make her listen. This was what was best, for both of them. 

“…You’re right. I’ve just gotta rip off the band-aid”, he blindly stumbled around a tree, nearly falling to the ground, “I don’t know, dude, it’s getting bad out here”. 

He’d seen plenty of stories about people getting trapped in snowstorms, their frozen bodies discovered months later. The storm wasn’t letting up and, the more they walked, the less feeling he had in his toes. He wasn’t usually the scared type but two of their teachers had already gone missing. That wasn’t a good sign. 

“Do you wanna go back?”

“I’d rather not turn into a popsicle today. What about you?”

Mack sighed, “Honestly, I’d rather take my chances out here then stay cooped up in that lodge. You head back and make sure nothing else has gone wrong”. 

“Are you crazy? You can’t walk around by yourself”. 

“If I haven’t found anything in fifteen minutes, I’ll go back”. 

“Okay but I’m holding you to that. I’m not gonna be the one that your parents murder when you go missing”. 

He gave Mack one last look before he hunched down into his coat and turned around. 

* * *

The cheerful sounds of lighthearted conversation and peals of laughter managed to penetrate the barrier Daria had created for herself. The doors at the lodge weren’t soundproof and she didn’t even have the comfort of her padded walls to muffle out the noise. She scowled as she tried to tune them out and refocus on the crossword puzzle she was struggling to finish. 

“Alright, amiga, I have to abandon you”. 

Jane was standing up on the other side of the room, stretching her arms above her head. They were going on hour four of their separation from society but, of course, she was calling it quits. Daria set aside her puzzle and pen before she gave her a pleading look. 

“Come on, I’ve got enough snacks to sustain us for weeks. Months, even, if we ration properly”. 

“Tempting offer, Morgendorffer, but I have to pass”, she sighed, “I’m bored. I don’t think I could hack it out here. No TV, no radio. It’s madness, I tell you!”

“What are you going to do down there?”

She shrugged, “Draw some people, fall asleep on the couch. Maybe I'll even play checkers”. 

“You can’t leave me up here”.

“Then you can come with me. You have to be dying by now”. 

The room’s ‘rustic’ décor was starting to drive her nuts and she could only do so much writing before her hand started to cramp up. There was bound to be some interesting bits of conversation going on downstairs…but she couldn’t risk it. 

“You go. I’ll just have to eat all these chips by myself”. 

“Godspeed”. 

Jane gave her a mock salute before she left the room, quietly shutting the door behind her. She let out a groan of frustration before she threw the crossword book back into her bag. It was barely 9:00 and she was seriously contemplating calling it an early night. At least then she could sleep instead of beating herself up. She was about to go brush her teeth when someone came rushing into the room. She expected it to be Jane but, instead, it was a panic stricken and frazzled looking Quinn. 

“Daria, where is that scarf I gave you?!”

She rolled her eyes as she dug her toothbrush out of her toiletry bag, “Maybe it’s downstairs, where the rest of the supplies are supposed to be”. 

“Shut up”, she grumbled before she dropped down and started rifling through the sparse contents of her duffel bag, “Sandi’s still being ridiculous and I figured, if I gave her something, she’d forget all about it”. 

“Because a fuzzy scarf is so much better than food”. 

“Look, they already brought back the stuff so-“, she gave her a look, “Wait a minute, have you been up here all day?”

She turned away, “I don’t know what you’re-“

“Oh my god, you’re hopeless”, Quin rolled her eyes as she finally found the scarf, “Just go talk to him already”. 

“What?”

“You’re moping around up here like a sad puppy when he’s down there sitting all by himself. You have an opening”. 

She shifted awkwardly on her feet, unsure of whether or not she should trust Quinn’s judgment. She was way more in-tune with these sorts of things but she wasn’t in the mood to get burned again. 

“What are you talking about?”

“No idiot is going to sit outside in the cold by themselves unless they’re waiting for someone to show up”, she crossed her arms, “Brittany’s been pawing at him all day, his friends are here, but he’s not with them. Wonder why that is?”

She’d convinced herself that him and Brittany were having the time of their lives. After the bus ride and the hike, she thought they were back together. She didn’t want to sit around and watch it all unfold. Apparently, that wasn’t the case. 

“…I don’t-"

“Go. Out. There”. 

Quinn gave her one last scathing look before she was gone. Normally, she would’ve crawled back in bed and given herself a few minutes to mull things over but she knew time was of the essence. There was no telling when Brittany would show up again or when he’d get tired of waiting and leave. For once in her life, she needed to act. She quickly slipped on her boots, not bothering with her coat or gloves, before she crept out into the hall. 

There were other people in their rooms, judging by the closed doors, but most people were downstairs. Some people were playing cards, others were flipping through books. She caught Jane and Jodie talking on the sofa and she had to sneak past them in order to make it to the backdoor. She braced herself before she walked out into the cold. The frigid air hit her instantly, her meager flannel pajama pants and thermal shirt not enough to ward off winter’s grasp. The snow had finally stopped and the night sky was clear and full of stars. She took a second to appreciate it before she started walking. She didn’t have to go far before she spotted Kevin. 

He was sitting next to the fire pit, his gaze focused on the jumping flames. She listened to the crackling of the logs as she sat down and prayed that Quinn knew what the hell she was talking about. 

“…How was your trek through the wild? Did you discover your primal instinct?”

A small smile graced his face, “Not really. Why are you in pajamas? You’re gonna get sick”. 

“Call it a sense of urgency”. 

“You mean you saw how much of a loser I am”. 

She dug the toe of her boot into a mound of snow, “I wouldn’t use those exact words”. 

“...I thought you weren’t talking to me”. 

“I wasn’t”. 

The mournful call of an owl caught both of their attention. She looked up towards the trees, straining to make out anything in the dark. There was something gripping about it that always resonated with her. Being out here, away from all of her creature comforts, made her realize just how beautiful nature was. She never really felt in tune with the world around her but, tonight, she was content. 

“It’s kinda crazy to think about how far away from this we all are”, he sighed as a sad look crossed his face, “We’ve got all our cars and our computers but we’d be lost out here”. 

“I think today was proof enough of that”. 

“I’m sorry”. 

She knew that this moment would come. Pretty soon, everything would be over. 

“…For what?”

“I was up there with Brittany, on the roof, to try and end things. I don’t know what I was thinking, why I thought it would work that way”. 

There were so many questions that she wanted to run away from but she wasn’t going to this time. 

“You still have feelings for her”.

“Yes”. 

His brutal honesty was like a punch to the gut and she returned her gaze to the fire, unsure of what else to do. That was the answer she expected, wasn’t it? 

“It’s not like flipping a switch”, he said softly, “I can’t just stop caring about her after all this time…but I’m not interested in being with her anymore”. 

“You’re not?”

“No. Brittany needs to be with someone that’s committed to her, 100%, and that’s not me”. 

She focused on watching the flames, “Is there where you tell me that you can’t be tied down?”

“No”, he laughed, “This is where I tell you that you’re the coolest girl that I’ve ever met and I’d be a real dummy to screw that up”. 

“Kevin-“

“I’m not done. You’re the only person I’ve met that doesn’t bullshit me. You don’t sugarcoat anything, you tell me the truth, even if it’s harsh. You push me even though I’m lazy and like to wait until the last minute to finish anything. You’re so smart, too smart to put up with me. You’re gonna change the world and I’ll be stuck bagging groceries at Payday”. 

“No, you won’t”. 

She used to believe that, that she was destined for greatness while everyone around her was going to be washed up. Now, she knew that kind of ruthless, lone wolf mentality wasn’t going to win her a noble prize. People weren’t always so easy to figure out…but sometimes it was worth trying. 

“We’ll see. Listen, what I’m trying to say is that nobody comes close to touching how I feel about you. Not Brittany, not a million other girls. I was stupid, I’m never gonna deny that, but everything that I’ve told you is true. Everything”. 

The cold was starting to seep in but she couldn’t care less about freezing right now. Kevin took her as she was and, for whatever reason, he liked her. Even crazier, she felt the same way about him. He didn’t want her to change and she would never want him to either. They were different…but it worked. Nobody would ever call her spontaneous but her next move was just that. 

She kissed him, really kissed him with all the energy she could muster. This time, she wasn’t nervous or scared; she was excited. She felt sure of herself for the first time in ages and that streak of confidence was enough to embolden her. She grabbed a hold of his jacket and climbed into his lap, forgetting all about her worries from earlier. Never in a million years did she picture herself as the girl that would be making out with someone in the snow but life was funny that way. 

“You crazy kids leave room for modesty!”, it was Jane’s gleeful laugh that eventually forced them apart, “Do I have to get the proper authorities?”

Kevin pulled back first, albeit reluctantly, “Guess that’s our cue. You should get back inside before you catch hypothermia”. 

She’d forgotten all about the goosebumps and her chattering teeth until that moment, “Hm, I guess you make a valid point”. 

She stood up but he stayed where he was, “I think I’ll stay here a little longer. I’ll see you tomorrow”. 

“Yeah. Goodnight”. 

She left him to his thoughts, whatever they were, and met up with Jane at the door. Inside, it was a ghost town. Had she been outside that long?

“Barch made everyone go to bed”, Jane said in answer to her questioning look, “I figured I’d find out where you two were before she did”. 

“How’d you know we were together?”

“Do you really think Quinn can keep a secret?”

“Remind me to strangle her later. 

The two of them headed upstairs to their room and Daria gratefully slid back under her covers, eager to get warm. 

“I didn’t think you had it in you”, Jane chuckled, “I’m impressed”. 

“There’s more than enough strangling to go around”. 

“Empty threats, Morgendorffer”. 

She turned towards the window, smiling despite herself as she looked at the stars. It didn’t take long for her to drift off to sleep. 

* * *

Kevin was finally making his way to bed when he took a detour. There was no more time to keep putting this off; he needed to get it over with. He took a left down the hall instead of a right and lightly knocked on the first door he came to. It didn’t take long for Brittany to come to the door. She looked happy to see him but she wouldn’t be for long. 

“I was wondering when you’d show up”. 

“We need to talk”. 

She leaned heavily against the doorframe, her gaze sharpening, “O-kay. So talk”. 

“Brittany, I care about you. I always will but…we can’t be together any more. You deserve better and I’m not the guy you need to be with”. 

“What are you saying? I-“

“I know and I’m sorry”, he frowned, “I…don’t feel that way about you”. 

It was tough to look her in the eye and tell her that he didn’t love her but he had to. A few tense seconds passed where neither of them said anything more, the heaviness of his statement pressing in on them. He felt like a horrible person the longer that she stared at him and he almost wanted to take it back. Finally, she spoke up.

“Is this because you were out there making-out with your little girlfriend?”, she seethed, “I could see you from the window you know. Maybe you two should be more careful next time; people talk”. 

“Come on, don’t drag her into this”, Brittany was vindictive by nature and Daria may have been clever but she had no idea how vicious the rumor mill could be once it got started. He couldn’t let that happen, “This is between you and me”. 

“There is no you and me”. 

“You’re right, I guess there isn’t”, he sighed, “It’s over, Britt”. 

She opened her mouth to say more but she quickly clamped it shut again before she shut the door on him. That went about as well as he expected. 

* * *

The next day started off well which should’ve been her first red flag. 

Daria rolled out of bed feeling energized despite her late sleep and she didn’t even care about being herded on to the bus at 6:00 AM. Most people were still half-asleep and the ones that weren’t had sense enough to keep quiet. She found her way towards one of the middle seats and settled in for a long ride. Jane shot her a dark look before she sat down in her own seat…next to Upchuck. She’d been kind enough to agree to sit elsewhere…for another $40, of course. She made a mental note to get her a ‘thank you’ gift later as she watched other people file only the bus. Brittany had to walk by her to get to her own seat and she expected the usual death glare. Instead, she was wearing a smug smile. Daria couldn’t help but wonder what that was all about. 

“I packed breakfast”. 

Kevin sat down next to her, oblivious to what just happened, as he pulled a package of toaster pastries from his bag. Without a toaster, they usually tasted like cardboard, but she wasn’t going to complain. She accepted the foil package without hesitation, artificial strawberry better than trying to stave off hunger pangs. 

“It’s going to take forever to get back”, she remarked as she looked at the road ahead of them, “We’re better off staying an extra day”. 

He laughed, “Do you think our teachers are qualified to watch us for longer than 24-hours?”

“They can barely watch us for the mandatory 6 but at least the lodge wasn’t so cramped”. 

“Guess you have a point. Let’s just hope the bus driver is good enough to dodge the ice”. 

The rest of the bus ride was taken in silence save for the occasional whispered joke. She was trying to hold onto the feeling from yesterday but she couldn’t shake off Brittany’s look. There was something about it that didn’t sit well with her. She tried to convince herself that she was only being paranoid when they finally reached the school, a whole forty minutes behind schedule. She got off the bus with everyone else and waited while Kevin went to get their bags from the luggage compartment. She was barely paying attention when Brittany walked up to her. 

“Hey, Daria. I just wanted to say that it’s really cool of you to understand Kevin and I’s friendship”. 

She tried to see if she could spot Jane anywhere but she was nowhere to be found, “Excuse me?"

“He came to see me last night and, you know, a lot of girls would freak out about that but that’s what I like about you; you’re not the jealous type”, she smiled, “Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks. See you around!”

It wasn’t true. It couldn’t have been true. Not after last night. He promised her that there was nothing going on between them and she believed him. 

“Sorry it took forever. Your sister really knows how to pack light, doesn’t she?”, he rolled his eyes before he took in the look on her face, “What’s going on?”

“Did you go to Brittany’s room last night?”

“Whoa, whoa, wait a minute! It wasn’t like that”. 

She blinked back at him, in disbelief over what he’d just said. She was an idiot. 

“You say that a lot”. 

“It wasn’t!”, he took a breath before he lowered his voice, “Whatever she said to you isn’t true. I didn’t go there to hook-up with her. I told her that it’s all over; we’re through”. 

“Do you expect me to believe a word out of your mouth? After all of this? I can’t believe I ever trusted you”. 

She snatched her bag away from his hand as anger settled heavily on her chest. She wanted to scream but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that he’d embarrassed her. This was the last straw. 

“Daria, please”, he reached for her hand, “I would never do that to you-“

“Don’t touch me. This is just another game to you, isn’t it? See how many dumb girls you can get to drop their pants for you? How long did it take you to come up with that speech yesterday?”

And to think she truly believed that he cared for her, that he could ever like her. How could she be so gullible? 

“Don’t you see that she’s doing this on purpose?! She’s trying to split us up!” 

“Fuck you, Kevin. Don’t talk to me again”. 

He stepped in front of her before she could make her dramatic exit, “…Hey, come on. I can’t let you walk home with all that stuff. At least let me drive you”. 

“I would rather swallow glass than ride in a car with you ever again”. 

She straightened up her shoulders before she pushed past him and headed towards the sidewalk. She couldn’t wait to get home.

 


	14. Part Fourteen

**Part Fourteen**

The Lawndale Cemetery always gave Kevin the creeps, even before his dad passed. 

It wasn’t full of dead trees and brittle grass, like the cemeteries in horror movies, but there was an eeriness even in the bright sunshine. He clutched the flowers in his hand like a life preserver as he trudged up the path, forcing himself to keep walking. He hadn’t been here since the funeral. He felt bad about it at first but he couldn’t drum up the courage to take the trip before. Now, it felt necessary. 

He tried not to envision ghosts and goblins creeping around corners as he slowed to halt in front of the one tombstone he didn’t want to look at. Etched into the granite was a simple phrase: “Beloved father, husband, and son”. It wasn’t flowery or poetic, just what his dad would’ve wanted. It wasn’t easy to stand there and face the overwhelming despair he’d been running from for months but he had to do this. He knelt down to place the bouquet on the frost covered ground. The flowers would freeze but, at least for now, they were alive. His dad, as manly as he was, loved plants. Kevin could never figure out why, he certainly didn’t have a green thumb, but it was one of those odd quirks. Clearance roses from the grocery store probably weren’t the best but he hoped the meager offering would be enough. 

“…I don’t know what to do…”, he whispered, “Tell me what to do”. 

The only response he got was from the rustling tree branches. He dropped down in front of the tombstone, desperate for some sort of enlightenment. 

“I met this girl”, he shook his head, “No, I got to know this girl who finally made me feel like maybe I’m not such a moron. I never thought I’d really ever like someone, you know? Really like them. You always told me that I should enjoy being young, not get tied down so soon. Well, I think I’m done messing around”. 

He knew he probably looked crazy, sitting there talking to himself, but nobody was around to see him anyway. He inhaled deeply, allowing the cold air to soothe his fractured nerves. 

“I messed up it all up, Dad. I’m so bad at making things work. It’s like that time I forgot to change the oil in the car and the engine broke. You were so pissed at me. And I was pissed too because I let you down”, he wanted to laugh but he couldn’t, “I’m always letting someone down. You, Ma, Brittany. Now, Daria. I keep trying to be better but I just…I can’t…”

He could feel the tears, burning the backs of his eyes. He never cried, not if he could help it. ‘Men don’t cry, they fight’ was what his dad would always say. He’d been fighting, fighting all of his emotions and fighting the truth. But he couldn’t do that anymore, not if he ever wanted to be happy again. 

“I’m so sorry, Dad. You didn’t deserve to die. I’m sorry”. 

He choked back a sob but it was too late now, the tears were flowing freely. He sat there for what felt like hours, crying until he ran out of tears. He didn’t feel any lighter when he climbed to his feet but there was a sense of accomplishment. Maybe he could come out here more often. He fished his car keys out of his pocket before he started the trek back to his car. 

He wasn’t going home just yet. 

* * *

The warm smell of cinnamon wafted through the kitchen as a batch of snickerdoodle cookies cooled on a baking rack. One of Quinn’s awful pop CDs was playing in the background, a compilation of updated renditions of all of the Christmas classics. It was holiday time at the Morgendorffer house. 

Daria rolled up the sleeves of her thick sweater as she worked on cutting out her assembly line of gingerbread men. She usually hated being roped into the baking frenzy and she could’ve gone over to Jane’s to escape the carnage…but, this time, she wanted to stay home. As annoying as her family was, she could always count on them to keep her grounded with their perfect insanity. When everyone else failed her, they’d always be around. 

“No, of course, Rita! We’d be happy to have you for New Year’s”, their mom came rushing into the kitchen, an oven mitt over one hand while she cradled the phone with the other, “Yes, we have the room”. 

“Oh boy”, Quinn mumbled as she added perfect icing lines to her gingerbread house, “That’ll be fun”. 

“We can ring in the new year by watching our family wring each other’s necks”, she stole a gumdrop from Quinn’s side of the table, “Perfect”. 

“You don’t think Grandma will show up do you? I’d just die. That gingerbread man’s missing a leg”. 

She shrugged, “Now, she’ll definitely come. I think it gives him character; he’s a war hero. Pass the candy”. 

“If you eat it all, my house is going to be naked”, she pouted, “I can’t have a naked house”. 

“I’ll save you some scraps”. 

Quinn rolled her eyes before she ate a gumdrop herself, “…You okay?”

“I don’t know”, she sighed, “I want to be”. 

She was all over the place for a few days but she was slowly starting to feel more like herself. It wasn’t like her to confide in her younger sister but, sometimes, she needed to. The two of them didn’t always get along but they knew how to call a truce when things got serious. 

The sound of the front door made her look up from her cookie sheet. It wasn’t long before their dad came bounding into the kitchen, a tangle of Christmas lights spilling out of his hands. 

“These don’t even work, damn it!”, he huffed, his face red from exertion, “I could’ve sworn we bought a new set. Hey, those look good!”

Daria stood up to sneak him a cookie while her mom’s back was turned, “Now scram before the warden throws you in the hole”. 

“Thanks, kiddo. Now, I’ve just gotta-" 

The sound of the doorbell interrupted him before he could tell them his plans. She shared a look with Quinn before she decided that she should be the one to answer it. She kept her fingers crossed that it would be one of her sister’s dates but, as she opened the door, she realized luck wasn’t on her side. Kevin was standing on the doorstep, looking more disheveled than she’d ever seen him before. His hair wasn’t styled and the dark circles under his eyes made him look like a zombie. What really struck her was the look on his face, nothing but complete and utter dejection. 

“I know I shouldn’t be here right now”, his voice was strained, tired, “But I really can’t do this anymore. I need to talk to you, even if you don’t listen. Brittany and I are over, okay? There is nothing she could do that would ever make me want to take her back. Whatever she told you isn’t true. You can choose not to believe me, I can’t make you, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t at least try”. 

She wanted to hate him but there was no way she could look into his eyes and feel anything but respect. Despite all her best attempts to push him away, he kept moving forward. It was admirable, if a little crazy. She’d spent the past few weeks thinking of everything she would say to him when he finally showed up. All the words had completely disappeared. She could feel the sincerity in his voice and she knew, deep down, that all of her doubts were based in fear. Fear of what would happen if they really tried, fear of failing, fear of getting hurt – really hurt. She wasn’t sure if she was brave enough. 

“I…”, she tried to wrangle the words together but it was nearly impossible. What could she say? “I have to go. I can’t…I can’t do this. I’m sorry”. 

“Daria”, he looked like he was on the verge of an actual breakdown, “At least tell me what you’re thinking”. 

“I don’t know!”, she lowered her voice lest she alert her parents, “I don’t know, Kevin. I…need some time. Can you at least give me that?”

“Okay. Fine. Yeah, whatever you need”. 

He didn’t sound too sure of his decision but he left anyway. She watched his retreating figure until he was gone and then she quietly closed the door. She couldn’t get his face out of her head and it only made her feel sick to her stomach. 

“There’s chocolate chip cookies in the oven”, her mom called over to her, barely noticing her panic, “I know they’re your favorite”. 

She mumbled something about needing to use the bathroom before she raced upstairs to lock herself in her room. She threw open one of desk drawers and carefully took out the book Kevin had given her. She flipped it open to the inside cover, where he’d written her a message. She ran her fingers over his small handwriting as she read it to herself. 

“To Daria: for when the world gets too annoying. Happy birthday”. 

Right now, the world was plenty confusing and scary and…she needed a break. She sat down on the edge of her bed before she started to read. 

She had a decision to make.


	15. Part Fifteen

**Part Fifteen**  
  
“Don’t look so mopey!”  
  
Kevin couldn’t dodge fast enough to avoid the kiss his mom planted on his cheek. She laughed heartily at the exasperated look on his face while she went to pour herself another glass of champagne. They were alone in their festivities; his aunt and uncle couldn’t find a babysitter which meant they had a whole assortment of food to finish by themselves. He was in such a bad mood that not even ‘fancy’ hors d'oeuvres could cheer him up. He knew he was being a bit melodramatic but all he could think about was how awful the new year would be.   
  
Daria needed time and he was willing to give her all the time in the world…but it still fucking sucked. It was like being in limbo, no word on if there was anything left between them or if she even wanted to see his face again. He drifted his way into the kitchen, stopping by the counter to grab himself a square of cubed cheese. He was going in for another when the sound of the doorbell distracted him. The TV was too loud for his mom to hear it and so he abandoned the trays of food and went to see who could possibly be outside at 11:30 PM. Standing on the doorstep, looking small and sad, was Daria.   
  
“Daria? What are you doing here?”  
  
Her expression was hard to read but she almost looked like she was going to puke. It was late, much too late for her to be out on her own. He was going to ask if she’d walked all the way there by herself when he took notice of the car parked in the street. It was crooked, dangerously close to knocking over his mailbox, but at least it wasn’t halfway into the street.   
  
“You drove here?”  
  
“And I didn’t hit anyone”, she lightly tossed the keys in her hand, “My aunts came over and they wouldn’t stop arguing and then my mom jumped in and…I needed to leave”.   
  
“So, why come here? Why not go see Jane?”  
  
She took a deep breath before she looked up at him, “Because there’s something I need to say to you. Can we go inside?”  
  
He wasn’t sure if her statement made him excited or terrified. He stepped back to let her inside before he led her into the kitchen. His mom was still engrossed in the New Year’s Eve countdown on TV, which gave them plenty of time to chat without being interrupted. Daria briefly looked over the spread before she turned back to him.   
  
“…Damn it, I didn’t think this would be so hard”, she sighed, “Okay, look, I…”  
  
“You don’t have to- “   
  
She shook her head, “Yes, I do. I drove out here to tell you that I like you, Kevin. When I’m with you, the world doesn’t seem so confusing anymore. I can look at you and know that you understand me, even if nobody else does. And I’ve never had that before, not with anyone but Jane, and…I really don’t want that to end”.   
  
It wasn’t what he was expecting but he was elated to hear those words. He always felt like she cared but it was nice to hear it out loud for once. After this latest disaster, he couldn’t be too sure.   
  
“…This is where you say something so I don’t think I’ve just made the biggest mistake of my- “  
  
“Daria, I have never liked anyone as much as I like you. I don’t know what else I can say”.   
  
He’d already spilled his heart to her and he could only pray that she understood. She nervously shifted on her feet before she said what else was on her mind.   
  
“I want to do this. For real this time. No lying, no secrets. I…want to be your girlfriend”.   
  
He had to be dreaming, “Okay, then I need you to trust me”.   
  
“…I think I can do that”, she exhaled slowly, “I’ll be honest, Kevin, I don’t know how any of this is supposed to work”.   
  
“Nobody does. You just…try and hope it doesn’t blow up in your face”.   
  
He didn't hesitate to reach for her, pulling her into a lengthy kiss. He was still trying to figure himself out but this was one piece of the puzzle. He barely noticed the cheering from the TV until his mom joined in.   
  
“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”  
  


* * *

Winter break ended much too quickly for Daria’s liking. She was enjoying being away from the tedium of the school day but that couldn’t last forever.   
  
"And then Wind started crying, blubbering like a baby, it was hysterical", Jane recounted her own New Year's tale, her story way more of a comedy than a romance, "You should've seen it. But, I guess I can excuse your absence".   
  
"Next time both of our families decide to show up, we need a backup plan".   
  
"Underground bunker", she grinned as she took books out of her locker, "I've got the perfect specs drawn up".   
  
"Now all we need to do is to rob a bank".   
  
A glimpse of blonde hair reminded Daria of something she needed to do. Jane followed her gaze across the hall, towards where Brittany was standing - alone.   
  
"Well, I'll see you in class", she gave her a reassuring smile before she closed her locker and left her to her own devices.   
  
Daria didn't need to bolster the courage; Brittany didn't scare her. She'd spent the last of her break thinking about how to best handle this and she finally decided on the simplest solution: a talk. No friends, no boyfriend's (exes), no dumb distractions. Brittany turned around just as she made it over.   
  
"What do you want?"   
  
She ignored the outright hostility, "I won't stand here and pretend that I like you but I'm offering an olive branch".   
  
"I don't want to be your friend".   
  
"Neither do I", she met her gaze, "But I don't want to be enemies either. I know that you think I stole Kevin away from you-"  
  
She shook her head, "Is that what you think?"  
  
"... Isn't that what this is all about?"  
  
She wasn't well versed on relationship drama but this seemed pretty straightforward. Brittany was still hung up on her ex and she presented an obstacle.   
  
"It's not that you're dating him. It's...how much he cares about you", she shifted on her feet, "How do you just swoop in and... I've been with him for years and he's never looked at me like that".   
  
It wasn't a conscious effort on her part. The cards fell into place. She could understand Brittany's frustrations, even if her pain was all her own.   
  
"...I don't really know what to say except I'm sorry".   
  
She didn't plan on apologizing, she'd done nothing wrong, but it felt like the right thing to say.   
  
"Yeah...well... it's a new year, right? Time to move on", she gave her a look that wasn't quite friendly...but it was a kind of mutual respect, "You should watch your back. People are snakes".   
  
It was a warning that she had no idea what to do with but then Brittany was leaving. It was an end to that chapter, even if it wasn't wrapped up nicely. Brittany had a point; it was a new year and she had no idea what would happen next.   
  
But she was eager to find out.


End file.
